We went back to the “Red Lion” and Mr. Doran and Captain Fieldin joined us.  They had been at the Club all the time, and were full of local news about the cub hunting, &c.  On the way back to Retby Sir Augustus told me he was struck with me the moment he came into Lady Theodosia’s boudoir, and he tried to take hold of my hand.  I call it very queer, don’t you?  I suppose it is because they think I am young and want encouraging, but I simply detest it, and I told him so.  I said, “Why should you want to hold my hand?” and when he looked foolish and mumbled some answer, I just said, “Because if you are afraid of falling, and it is to hold on, there is the outside rail of the coach for you; I hate being pawed.”  He said I was a disagreeable little thing, and would never get on in life.  But you can see, Mamma, how everything has changed since you were young.

[Sidenote:  Mr. Harrington’s Fault]

Lady Theodosia put on such a splendid purple brocade tea-gown for tea, but Fluff would jump up at the tray, and succeeded at last in upsetting a whole jug of cream over her.  She was sitting in a very low chair that it is difficult to get out of, and she looked quite piteous with billows of cream rolling off her; it got into Fanny’s nose and made her sneeze, and that annoyed the other dogs, and they all began to fight, and the St. Bernard joined in, and in his excitement he overturned the whole table and tray.  You never saw such a catastrophe!  The dogs got quite wild with joy, and left off fighting to gobble cakes, and when Mr. Harrington, who had been away writing letters, rushed in to see what the commotion was, he did catch it!  We extricated Lady Theodosia from masses of broken china and dribbles of jam, in the most awful rage.  She said it was entirely Mr. Harrington’s fault for not being there to look after the dogs.  Considering she had sent him to write about their muzzles, I do call it hard, don’t you?  Mr. Doran came in, and when he saw the best Crown Derby smashed on the floor, and the teapot all bent, he became quite transformed, and swore dreadfully.  He said such rude words, Mamma, that I cannot even write them, and it ended up with,

“If you keep a d——­d puppy to look after your other d——­d puppies, why the devil don’t you see he does it!”

I hope you aren’t awfully shocked, Mamma, at me writing that; I was obliged to, to show you what awful creatures men really are underneath, even if their outsides look as meek as Mr. Doran’s.  Lady Theodosia burst into tears, and it was altogether a fearful scene if it had not been so funny to look at.  We none of us got any tea, for by the time Lady Theodosia had been got to dry her eyes, and things were cleared up, we were all only too glad to disperse.  I am sure a lot of children could not be so naughty as these dogs are.

[Sidenote:  A prudent Retirement]