She explained that the lawyers and doctors enjoyed having their food with the earls and baronets much more than just prancing about lawns.  And when I asked her how the earls and baronets liked it, she said there were only three or four, and they had to put up with it or stay at home; she had done it now for thirty years, and they were accustomed to it; besides, she had the best chef in England, and anyway it was a nice change for people not knowing who they were going to be put next to.  It took her such a long time to tell me all this, and to see me to my room, that I was almost late, and she did not get into the state drawing-room until all the guests had arrived.

You never saw anything so funny as it was, Mamma.  Mr. Doran was trying to be polite to the odd collection, evidently not quite knowing which was which.  Old Lord and Lady Devnant were glaring at the rest of the company from the hearth-rug, with a look of “You invade this mat at your peril!” Sir Christopher Harford paying extravagant compliments to the parson’s wife (I knew which they were because I heard them announced), and the “Squire” and Mrs. de Lacy—­who came over with the Conqueror—­standing apart with their skinny daughters, all holding their noses in the air.  Everybody seemed to be in their best clothes, and most of the women had flowers and tulle or little black feathers sticking up in their hair, and bare red arms, and skirts inches off the ground in front; you know the look.  But everything seemed to be going beautifully after Lady Theodosia rolled in (she does not walk, like ordinary people)!

[Sidenote:  Drawing for Partners]

Mr. Doran did the handing round of the drawing-papers, and they were “Marshall and Snelgrove,” and “Lewis and Allenby,” and “Debenham and Freebody,” &c., and if you drew “Lewis” you went in with whoever drew “Allenby,” and so on; it was a capital plan, only for one incident.  I was near Lady Theodosia when Mr. Harrington rushed from the other end of the room, and whispered to her in an agitated voice that the “Dickens” of Lady Devnant’s “Jones” was Dr. Pluffield.  She was not on speaking terms with him, having quarrelled with him for sending her teething powders by mistake, when it ought to have been something for her nerves.  All Lady Theodosia said was—­

“Harrington, you’re a fool.  What are their little differences to me?  I give ’em the best dinner in England, and they must settle the rest themselves!”

So poor Mr. Harrington had to go back and smooth down Lady Devnant as best he could; and presently we all started for the banqueting-hall.  There were several really decent county people there, of course, but they all looked much the same as the others, except that they had diamonds on.  Old Admiral Brudnell, who has a crimson face, was taking in the younger Miss de Lacy, and just in front of him were Dr. Pluffield and Lady Devnant, whom the Admiral hates.  I heard him say, getting purple like a gobbler, “Come on, come on, I don’t mean to let that old catamaran get in front of me!” And he dragged Miss de Lacy through the doorway, bumping the others to get past; and she told me afterwards her funny-bone had got such a knock that she could hardly hold her soup spoon!