Little Willie was nearly delirious by this time, and tried to get into the basket, which was now all but empty. The search continued, and two rolls of material were lifted out: five and a quarter yards of white calico and three yards of pink silk. This exposed the bottom of the basket, where lay a tin! Ah, the opium at last. Philip stepped forward and prised off the lid triumphantly.
The contents consisted solely of Punter’s “Freak” biscuits.
Little Willie has been dismissed from his position as Opium Sleuth-hound.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE FAVOURED UNIFORM.
Indignant Lady. “I SUPPOSE I’D HAVE HAD A CHANCE IF I’D HAD BREECHES ON.”]
* * * * *
COMMERCIAL CANDOUR.
“For Sale, owing to
ill-health, Pedigree Flemish Stock.”—Daily
Paper.
* * * * *
THE EXODUS.
Like the last rose of Summer
I’m left quite alone;
All my blooming companions
To Paris are flown—
Three daughters, two brothers,
Two sons and a niece
Have all gone to Paris
To speed up the Peace.
’Tis just the same story
Wherever I go,
There’s hardly a soul left
For running the show—
Five thousand officials,
Not counting police,
Have all gone to Paris
To speed up the Peace.
There’s calm in the City,
A hush in Whitehall—
A thousand fair typists
Have answered the call.
Henceforward their clicking
In London will cease—
They’ve all gone to Paris
To speed up the Peace.
P.S.
An expert accountant.
Has worked out the cost
Of the keep of officials
Who’ve recently crossed.
It must be Three Millions;
Mayhap ’twill increase
If the delegates dally
In speeding up Peace.
* * * * *
“THE THAMES RISING.
“LONDON MILK SUPPLY THREATENED.”—Pall Mall Gazette.
A surprising change of affairs.
* * * * *
“Sprats in South London
are 21/2 lb. a lb.”—Continental
Daily
Mail.
This may explain why our fishmonger’s price is 21/2 shillings a shillingsworth.
* * * * *
“The story of an ingenious
robbery by three young boys was told to
the Stockport magistrates
to-day.
“The magistrates ordered
them to receive the birch, usual
way.—Reuter.”—Provincial
Paper.
It was kind of Reuter to add this detail.
* * * * *
“It is understood an
order has been issued for the demobilisation
of men called to the Colours
under the last Military Service Act
after they had attained the
age of 441.”—Provincial Paper.