The Best American Humorous Short Stories eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 365 pages of information about The Best American Humorous Short Stories.

The Best American Humorous Short Stories eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 365 pages of information about The Best American Humorous Short Stories.
that the bouquet she carried was not more beautiful because it was more costly.  I grant that it was more harmonious with her superb beauty and her rich attire.  And I have no doubt that if Aurelia knew the old man, whom she must have seen so often watching her, and his wife, who ornaments her sex with as much sweetness, although with less splendor, than Aurelia herself, she would also acknowledge that the nosegay of roses was as fine and fit upon their table as her own sumptuous bouquet is for herself.  I have that faith in the perception of that lovely lady.  It is at least my habit—­I hope I may say, my nature, to believe the best of people, rather than the worst.  If I thought that all this sparkling setting of beauty—­this fine fashion—­these blazing jewels and lustrous silks and airy gauzes, embellished with gold-threaded embroidery and wrought in a thousand exquisite elaborations, so that I cannot see one of those lovely girls pass me by without thanking God for the vision—­if I thought that this was all, and that underneath her lace flounces and diamond bracelets Aurelia was a sullen, selfish woman, then I should turn sadly homewards, for I should see that her jewels were flashing scorn upon the object they adorned, and that her laces were of a more exquisite loveliness than the woman whom they merely touched with a superficial grace.  It would be like a gaily decorated mausoleum—­bright to see, but silent and dark within.

“Great excellences, my dear Prue,” I sometimes allow myself to say, “lie concealed in the depths of character, like pearls at the bottom of the sea.  Under the laughing, glancing surface, how little they are suspected!  Perhaps love is nothing else than the sight of them by one person.  Hence every man’s mistress is apt to be an enigma to everybody else.  I have no doubt that when Aurelia is engaged, people will say that she is a most admirable girl, certainly; but they cannot understand why any man should be in love with her.  As if it were at all necessary that they should!  And her lover, like a boy who finds a pearl in the public street, and wonders as much that others did not see it as that he did, will tremble until he knows his passion is returned; feeling, of course, that the whole world must be in love with this paragon who cannot possibly smile upon anything so unworthy as he.”

“I hope, therefore, my dear Mrs. Prue,” I continue to say to my wife, who looks up from her work regarding me with pleased pride, as if I were such an irresistible humorist, “you will allow me to believe that the depth may be calm although the surface is dancing.  If you tell me that Aurelia is but a giddy girl, I shall believe that you think so.  But I shall know, all the while, what profound dignity, and sweetness, and peace lie at the foundation of her character.”

I say such things to Titbottom during the dull season at the office.  And I have known him sometimes to reply with a kind of dry, sad humor, not as if he enjoyed the joke, but as if the joke must be made, that he saw no reason why I should be dull because the season was so.

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The Best American Humorous Short Stories from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.