The ceremony commenced.

What can one coy youth do, single-handed, against a woman who is determined to marry him?  Like the beautiful young lady in the endless love-stories, who faints at the altar with her hard-hearted father, the Duke, on one side, and the relentless bridegroom, the Count, on the other, Archibald BLINKSOP was hemmed in by destiny.  There was alas! no steel-clad knight with his visor down, to rush in, and shout in trumpet tones:  “Hold!  I forbid the bans—­ To be continued in our next.  Back numbers sent to any address.”  No.  Steel-clad knights are, unfortunately, somewhat scarce in Indiana, and so the ceremony continued.

Teddy was first bridesman.  He not only supported Archibald, but he held his head and jerked it forward occasionally, thus assisting in the responses.

The ceremony concluded.

At its close Archibald BLINKSOP, according to the Law of Indiana, was a
Man and One Wife.

At its close Ann Brummet, according to the same Law, was a Woman and One
Husband.

The world is large.  To a woman of her immense strategical resources this was but a fair beginning.  Blest with a good constitution and rare matrimonial attainments, why should she falter in the good work thus begun?

They picked the new-made husband up, limp as a rag, and laid him tenderly on the sofa.  Teddy and the minister withdrew, and the Honeymoon commenced.

Archibald began to recover.  “Where am I?” he moaned faintly.

“You’re married,” said Ann.

He groaned, and wiped the perspiration from his pallid brow.

“Can I go home?” he inquired feebly.

“Yes,” replied Ann.  “Go, and when I want you I’ll come for you.  Tell your dear BELINDA that ANN BRUMMET, the poor relation, has got ahead of her on this heat.  She didn’t think, did she, when she was courting you, that she was only just getting you ready for me?”

But before she was through, ARCHIBALD, moaning in broken accents that he wished he was dead, had rushed frantically from the house.

ANN was congratulating herself on her success, when there came another rap from TEDDY.

“Sure and it’s your lawyer this time.  Will I sind him away?”

“No,” said ANN, “I want to see him.  And bring in some oysters and sherry.  I’m getting hungry.”

“Well,” said the lawyer, entering and taking a chair familiarly, where’s your man?”

“Gone,” said ANN.

“What! without the divorce?  Whew! that’s too bad.  How did it happen?”

“JEFF didn’t come,” replied ANN.  “He sent a substitute.  But I wasn’t going to be fooled that way, so I just drafted him instead.”

“What! married him?” queried the lawyer, incredulously.

“Yes, why not?  DIGBY was here, you see, and I could not find it in my heart to cheat the poor man out of a job, with a large family on his hands, too.”  And she laughed.