Print
Word
PDF---+
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the punchinello publishing company, in the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington.
* * * * *
Man and wives.
A travesty.
By Mose Skinner.
CHAPTER FIFTH.
Queer doings at the half-way house.
“Tell the minister,” said Ann to Teddy, “to come in. If I don’t get a husband out of this somehow, I ain’t smart. I’ll just marry the man I’ve got here.”
Archibald sank down on the sofa, bathed in a cold perspiration.
“Oh, don’t” he groaned; “you mustn’t. ’Twasn’t my fault; Jeff sent me.”
Her eyes flashed on him angrily.
“Yes, you helped Jeff set a trap for me,” said she, “and you’ve fell into it yourself. Come, here’s the minister.”
But Archibald didn’t come, he only turned white, and made a gurgling noise.
“There should be somebody here competent to give away the bridegroom,” said the minister, with an air of annoyance.
“Sure, and it’s meself as’ll do that same,” said Teddy, obeying a nod from Ann.
“Away now with sich modeshty, youngster. Bear up and be a man. It’ll soon be over. And if ye make a fuss,” he added in a whisper, “I’ll knock the head off ye. Do ye mind that?” Then, as if relating his experience to a large and sympathetic audience: “’Twas just that way I felt meself like, when the knot was tied. Wake in the knees sim’larly, and a faylin’ like I was a cold dish-cloth wrung out. But Lord, he’ll hold up his head agin, I’ll warrant ye.”
“Oh, why can’t you let me go?” begged Archibald, “I ain’t done nothin’.”
Teddy smiled. ’Twas such a smile as a dentist gives, just before he swoops upon his prey.
“Did you iver now?” said he, appealing to the minister. “What a man it is. As bashful as a young gyrl, without a mammy to smooth it over. Steady now. There you are, as nice as a cotton hat,” he continued, as he put ARCHIBALD’S arm within ANN’S. “Lean aginst me as hard as iver ye like, man. I well knows as I’ll nivir git me reward in this world, for all the young cooples as I’ve startid in life, but, thank Hevins, there’s another.”
