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[Illustration:  BONED TURKEY.

John Bull. “WELL, NOW, THIS IS TOO BAD!—­HERE’S THIS ROOSHAN FELLER BEEN AND GOBBLED UP ALL THE TURKEY!”]

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HIRAM GREEN’S FASHION REPORT.

The only Strictly Reliable Report on the Market.

A full-dressed girl of the Period, as she sails out for an afternoon airin, looks like somethin as I imagine the north pole would, with a 1/2 dozen rainbows rapt about it.  She is a sorter of a flag-staff, from whose perpendicularity the ensines of all nations blows and flaps, and any man base enuff to haul down one solitary flag will be shot on the spot. A far dixy.  Tellin the thing jest as it is, there’s more flummy-diddles and mushroon attachments to a woman’s toggery nowadays than there is honest men in Wall street.

Durin the past season, overskirts and p-an-ears have been looped up, makin the fair secks look as if she was gettin her garments in trim to leep over some frog-pond.

The only change in overskirts now, is that they have been let down a few pegs, giving the fair wearer an appearance of havin landed safe on tother side of the Pollywog Asilum, which she has been all summer waitin to jump over.

LONG TRAILLIN DRESSES are agin comin into fashin, to the great detriment of the legitimate okerpashon of street-sweepin.

I understand that MARK TWAIN endorses long traillin skirts, and compels his new infant to wear ’em.  How schockin!

JET TRIMMINS are agin to have a run.  The United States Sennit will probably Read in a few black orniments this winter.

SHAWL SOOTS are a pooty gay harniss, nowadays, to sling on.  To make one, get an old shawl, ram your head through the middle of it, then draw it snug about the waist, with a cast-off nitecap string.

Yaller and red are becoming cullers for a broonet, says Harper’s bazar.  The 15th amendment ladies will please take notiss and cultivate yaller hair and red noses in the futer.

RED GLOVES are much worn, makin the fashinable bell’s hands look like a washer-woman’s thumb on a frosty mornin.

Some pooty desines have appeared in EAR RINGS, but the desines of a sertin strong-minded click of femails to ring the ears of their lords and masters hain’t endorsed in this ere report.

HAIR-DRESSIN.

The more frizzled and stirred up a ladey’s hair appears nowadays, the hire she stands in the eyes of the Bon tung.  A waterfall which will go into a store door without the wearer stoopin over, hain’t considered of suffishent altitood for a fashinable got-up femme de sham to tug around.

Thrashin masheens are now used to get just the rite angle on the hair.

The head is inserted in the masheen, which proceeds to give the copiliary attraction a wuss shampoonin than can be got in a Rale Rode smash up.