Jack will be an admiral if he isn’t sick;
  Peggy’ll take the tickets and punch them with a click;
  But I will make a splendid hum up there in the blue;
  I’ll look down on London town, I’ll look down on you.

  Jack will hunt for U-boats and sink the beasts by scores;
  Peggy’ll have a perfect life, slamming carriage doors;
  But I shall join the R.F.C. and Nurse herself will shout,
  “There’s Master Flight-Commander Jim has put them Huns to rout.”

* * * * *

    “A well-known Liverpool shipowner and philanthropist is giving
    L70,000—­L100 for each year of his life—­to various charitable
    and philanthropic objects.”—­Scotsman.

He might almost have lived in the time of the Patriarchs, but we gather that he preferred the days of the profits.

* * * * *

“Often it was impossible to detect the existence of underground works until their occupants opened fire.  At one such spot a white hag was displayed, and when our men charily approached a burst of fire met them.”—­East Anglian Daily Times.

The enemy is evidently up to his old trick—­taking cover behind women.

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(BY MR. PUNCH’S STAFF OF LEARNED CLERKS.)

I foresee the appearance, during the next few years, of many regimental handbooks that will record the history at this present visibly and gloriously in the making.  One such has already reached me, a second edition of A Brief History of the King’s Royal Rifle Corps (WARREN), compiled and edited by Lieut.-General Sir EDWARD HUTTON, K.C.B.  It is a book to be bought and treasured by many to whom the record of a fine and famous regiment has become in these last years doubly precious.  The moment of its appearance is indeed excellently opportune, from the fact that, in the first place, the K.R.R. was recruited from our brothers across the Atlantic, the 60th Royal Americans (as they were then) having been raised, in 1756, from the colonists in the Eastern States, with a view to retrieving the recent disaster to General BRADDOCK’S troops, and to provide a force that could meet the French and Indians upon equal terms.  Thus the Regiment, which its historian modestly calls a typical unit of the British Army, is in its origin another link between the two great English-speaking allies of to-day.  It has a record, certainly second to none, from Quebec to Ypres—­one that splendidly bears out the words, themselves ringing like steel, of its motto, Celer et Audax. I should add that all profits from the sale of the book will go to “The Ladies’ Guild of the King’s Royal Rifle Corps.”  Friends past and present will no doubt see to it that these profits are considerable.

* * * * *