Cook.  “OH, IF YOU PLEASE, ’M, IT’S ONLY MY COUSIN WHO HAS CALLED JUST TO SHOW ME HOW TO BOIL A POTATO.”

"Punch,” August 31, 1850.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  OUR SPECIALS.

Special Constable. “NOW MIND, YOU KNOW—­IF I KILL YOU, IT’S NOTHING; BUT IF YOU KILL ME, BY JINGO, IT’S MURDER.”

"Punch,” April 22, 1848.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A PEACE CONFERENCE.

Flora. “OH, I AM SO GLAD—­DEAR HARRIET—­THERE IS A CHANCE OF PEACE—­I AM MAKING THESE SLIPPERS AGAINST DEAR ALFRED COMES BACK!”

Cousin Tom. “HAH, WELL!  I AIN’T QUITE SO ANXIOUS ABOUT PEACE—­FOR, YOU SEE, SINCE THOSE SOLDIER CHAPS HAVE BEEN ABROAD, WE CIVILIANS HAVE HAD IT PRETTY MUCH OUR OWN WAY WITH THE GURLS!”

"Punch,” March 22, 1856.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  HOME AMUSEMENTS.

GRAND PEACE DEMONSTRATION IN OUR NURSERY!

"Punch,” May 24, 1856.]

* * * * *

A BALLAD OF EELS.

["Lord Desborough has just been reminding us of the neglected source of food supply that we have in the eels of our rivers and ponds.  He stated, ’The food value of an eel is remarkable.  In food value one pound of eels is better than a loin of beef....  The greatest eel-breeding establishment in the world is at Comacchio, on the Adriatic.  This eel nursery is a gigantic swamp of 140 miles in circumference.  It has been in existence for centuries, and in the sixteenth century it yielded an annual revenue of L1,200 to the Pope.’”—­Liverpool Daily Post.]

  When lowering clouds refuse to lift
    And spread depression far and wide,
  And when the need of strenuous thrift
    Is loudly preached on every side,
  What boundless gratitude one feels
    To DESBOROUGH, inspiring chief,
  For telling us:  “One pound of eels
    Is better than a loin of beef”

  Of old, Popes made eel-breeding pay
    (At least Lord DESBOROUGH says they did),
  And cleared per annum in this way
    Twelve hundred jingling, tingling quid. 
  In fact my brain in anguish reels
    To think we never took a leaf
  Out of the book which taught that eels
    Are better than prime cuts of beef.

  In youth, fastidiously inclined,
    I own with shame that I eschewed,
  Like most of my unthinking kind,
    This luscious and nutritious food;
  But now that DESBOROUGH reveals
    Its value, with profound belief
  I sing with him:  “One pound of eels
    Is better than a loin of beef.”

  I chant it loudly in my bath,
    I chant it when the sun is high,
  And when the moon pursues her path
    Noctambulating through the sky. 
  And when the bill of fare at meals
    Is more than usually brief,
  Again I sing:  “One pound of eels
    Is better than a loin of beef.”