Not such as fills the toper’s tum,
    But such as fills the shell—­
  Such as will be in days to come
    Heat, light, and pow’r as well.

  Yes, in the spacious days to come
    We’ll bless Sol Tuberose,
  When all our motor engines hum
    On what the farmer grows.

  Then cultivate him all you can,
    With him and his stand well in;
  There’s one that is a Nobleman,
    There’s one Sir John Llewellyn.

  There’s one that is a British Queen,
    There’s one a dwarf, Ashleaf,
  There’s one that is a plain Colleen,
    There’s one an Arran Chief.

  He’ll serve us if we do him well
    (Last year he failed our foes). 
  Oh, who can all the praises tell
    Of good Sol Tuberose!

  W.B.

* * * * *

THE REVENANT.

    “CAPTAIN STANLEY WILSON’S RETURN HOME.

    “CHEERFUL AND WELL AFTER LONG INTERMENT.”—­Yorkshire Post.

* * * * *

    “Gentleman, 30, offers 10/- weekly, own laundry, and help with
    children, refined country home.  No needlework.”—­The Lady.

Slacker!

* * * * *

Letter sent by a soldier’s wife to the Army Pay Department:—­

    “I am sending you my marage sertificate and six children there
    were seven but won died.  You only sent six back her name was fanny
    and was baptised on a half sheet of paper by the reverend Thomas.”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Officer (on leave). “SO YOU’RE STILL ALIVE, PETER?”

Peter. “YES, SIR—­AN’ I’M GOIN’ TO SEE ANOTHER CHRISTMAS, SIR.  YOU SEE, SIR, I’VE ALWAYS NOTICED THAT WHEN I LIVE THROUGH THE MONTH OF AUGUST I LIVE OUT THE WHOLE YEAR.”]

* * * * *

A CENTENARY.

JOHN LEECH.

BORN AUGUST 29TH, 1817.

I.—­TO OUR GREATEST CONTRIBUTOR.

  JOHN LEECH, a hundred years ago,
    When you were born and after,
  There shone a sort of kindly glow
    Of airy fun and laughter;
  It was a sound that seemed to sing,
    A universal humming
  That made the echoing rafters ring
    And so proclaimed your coming.

  It was not noted at the time: 
    I was not there to note it,
  But now I set it down in rhyme
    That other men may quote it
  And still maintain the thing is true,
    Defying Wisdom’s strictures,
  And lose all doubt by looking through
    A book of LEECH’S pictures.

  You drew our English country-folk
    As many others saw them—­
  The simple life, the simple joke,
    But only you could draw them;
  The warp and woof of country joys
    In green and pleasant places;
  The mischievous and merry boys,
    The girls with shining faces.