For some who fought at Crecy, too,
  Snored on or scoffed when trumpets blew,
    And presently were caught;
  And when the clanking N.C.O.’s
  Came round to prod them, I suppose
    They up and spoke their thought.

  Then they were for it; up they went
  Paraded by the Prince’s tent,
    While he, to meet the crime,
  Recalled the nastiest words he knew,
  And learned the worst that he could do
    From “K.R.” of the time.

  And yet such criminals as those
  Did England proud with English bows
    As schoolboys have to read;
  And Gunner Grogan would to-day
  Prove every bit as stout as they
    Should there arise the need.

  But just as heroes of Romance,
  Who dodged parades with half a chance,
    Were strafed—­and mighty hard—­
  So likewise Gunner Grogan, E.,
  Employed in making history,
    Will do an extra guard.

* * * * *

“We are informed by the Right Hon. the Lord Mayor of Bristol that his Lordship still has a supply of famous men connected with the great war, and will be pleased to supply them to applicants.”—­Evening Times and Echo (Bristol).

Will the PRIME MINISTER please note?

* * * * *

    “A conference of the Ministers of departments concerned will take
    place in London to arrange measures for their execution.”—­Daily
    Chronicle.

Anticipated comment from The Mourning Toast:  “And quite time, too.”

* * * * *

“Lord Lawrence, once Viceroy of India, said, ’Notwithstanding all that English people have done to benefit India, the missionaries have done more than all other agonies combined.’”—­Malay Tribune.

Missionaries in the East have a lot to put up with.

* * * * *

A LETTER FROM THE FRONT

ON A PURELY DOMESTIC MATTER.

MY DEAR WIFE,—­Yours to hand of the 10th inst., and contents, re son, noted.  I observe that you are for the moment satisfied with his progress, and that you feel yourself in a position to be able to see your way to inform me that he is beginning to have and express ideas of his own on all subjects.  He shows himself a fine fellow, and you have every reason to be as happy as it is possible to be in wartime.

By the same post arrived the new uniform from Dover Street, London, W. You will be glad to hear that Messrs. Blenkinson have done us proud, managing to carry out your many suggestions without departing from regulation.  They make a fine fellow of me, neat but not gaudy, striking in appearance without being offensive to the eye.  Once more they too have shown themselves fine fellows.  We are all fine fellows; my dear, you are positively surrounded on all sides by fine fellows, and it would look as if, given peace, we are all together going to be as happy as the day is long.