Grace was a saint in the truest sense of that word)
had long since made her free of that “communion
of saints” which consists not in Pharisaic isolation
from “the world,” not in the mutual flatteries
and congratulations of a self-conceited clique; but
which bears the sins and carries the sorrows of all
around: whose atmosphere is disappointed hopes
and plans for good, and the indignation which hates
the sin because it loves the sinner, and sacred fear
and pity for the self-inflicted miseries of those who
might be (so runs the dream, and will run till it becomes
a waking reality) strong, and free, and safe, by being
good and wise. To such a spirit this bold cunning
man had come, stiff-necked and heaven-defiant, a “brand
plucked from the burning:” and yet equally
unconscious of his danger, and thankless for his respite.
Given, too, as it were, into her hands; tossed at
her feet out of the very mouth of the pit,—why
but that she might save him? A far duller heart,
a far narrower imagination than Grace’s would
have done what Grace’s did—concentrate
themselves round the image of that man with all the
love of woman. For, ere long, Grace found that
she did love that man, as a woman loves but once in
her life; perhaps in all time to come. She found
that her heart throbbed, her cheek flushed, when his
name was mentioned; that she watched, almost unawares
to herself, for his passing; and she was not ashamed
at the discovery. It was a sort of melancholy
comfort to her that there was a great gulf fixed between
them. His station, his acquirements, his great
connections and friends in London (for all Tom’s
matters were the gossip of the town, as, indeed, he
took care that they should be), made it impossible
that he should ever think of her; and therefore she
held herself excused for thinking of him, without
any fear of that “self-seeking,” and “inordinate
affection,” and “unsanctified passions,”
which her religious books had taught her to dread.
Besides, he was not “a Christian.”
That five minutes on the shore had told her that; and
even if her station had been the same as his, she
must not be “unequally yoked with an unbeliever.”
And thus the very hopelessness of her love became
its food and strength; the feeling which she would
have checked with maidenly modesty, had it been connected
even remotely with marriage, was allowed to take immediate
and entire dominion; and she held herself permitted
to keep him next her heart of hearts, because she
could do nothing for him but pray for his conversion.
And pray for him she did, the noble, guileless girl,
day and night, that he might be converted; that he
might prosper, and become—perhaps rich,
at least useful; a mighty instrument in some good work.
And then she would build up one beautiful castle in
the air after another, out of her fancies about what
such a man, whom she had invested in her own mind
with all the wisdom of Solomon, might do if his “talents
were sanctified.” Then she prayed that
he might recover his lost gold—when it
was good for him; that he might discover the thief:
no, that would only involve fresh shame and sorrow:
that the thief, then, might be brought to repentance,
and confession, and restitution. That was the
solution of the dark problem, and for that she prayed;
while her face grew sadder and sadder day by day.