Who could deny now the reiterated statement that he was a bigamist?

It came to be said that he must be on his way to South America.  Then the public read avidly articles by specially retained barristers on the extradition treaties with Brazil, Argentina, Ecuador, Chili, Paraguay and Uruguay.

The curates Matthew and Henry preached to crowded congregations at Putney and Bermondsey, and were reported verbatim in the Christian Voice Sermon Supplement, and other messengers of light.

And gradually the nose of England bent closer and closer to its newspaper of a morning.  And coffee went cold, and bacon fat congealed, from the Isle of Wight to Hexham, while the latest rumours were being swallowed.  It promised to be stupendous, did the case of Witt v.  Parfitts.  It promised to be one of those cases that alone make life worth living, that alone compensate for the horrors of climate, in England.  And then the day of hearing arrived, and the afternoon papers which appear at nine o’clock in the morning announced that Henry Leek (or Priam Farll, according to your wish) and his wife (or his female companion and willing victim) had returned to Werter Road.  And England held its breath; and even Scotland paused, expectant; and Ireland stirred in its Celtic dream.

Mention of Two Moles

The theatre in which the emotional drama of Witt Parfitts was to be played, lacked the usual characteristics of a modern place of entertainment.  It was far too high for its width and breadth; it was badly illuminated; it was draughty in winter and stuffy in summer, being completely deprived of ventilation.  Had it been under the control of the County Council it would have been instantly condemned as dangerous in case of fire, for its gangways were always encumbered and its exits of a mediaeval complexity.  It had no stage, no footlights, and all its seats were of naked wood except one.

This unique seat was occupied by the principal player, who wore a humorous wig and a brilliant and expensive scarlet costume.  He was a fairly able judge, but he had mistaken his vocation; his rare talent for making third-rate jokes would have brought him a fortune in the world of musical comedy.  His salary was a hundred a week; better comedians have earned less.  On the present occasion he was in the midst of a double row of fashionable hats, and beneath the hats were the faces of fourteen feminine relatives and acquaintances.  These hats performed the function of ‘dressing’ the house.  The principal player endeavoured to behave as though under the illusion that he was alone in his glory, but he failed.