So much comment has been made upon the terminology of this theory that it should be stated frankly, at the start, that the words Sulphite and Bromide, and their derivatives, sulphitic and bromidic, are themselves so sulphitic that they are not susceptible of explanation.  In a word, they are empirical, although, accidentally it might seem, they do appeal and convince the most skeptical.  I myself balked, at first, at these inconsequent names.  I would have suggested the terms “Gothic” and “Classic” to describe the fundamental types of mind.  But it took but a short conversation with the Chatelaine to demonstrate the fact that the words were inevitable, and the rapid increase in their use has proved them something more real than slang—­an acceptable and accepted terminology.  Swallow them whole, therefore, and you will be so much better for the dose that, upon finishing this thesis you will say, “Why, of course there are no other words possible!”

Let us, therefore, first proceed with a general statement of the theory and then develop some of its corollaries.  It is comparatively easy to define the Bromide; let us consider his traits and then classify the Sulphite by a mere process of exclusion.

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In this our world the Bromides constitute, alas! by far the larger group.  In this, the type resembles the primary bodies or other systems of classification, such as the Philistines, the Conservatives, the Bores and so on, ad nauseam.  The Bromide does his thinking by syndicate.  He follows the main traveled roads, he goes with the crowd.  In a word, they all think and talk alike—­one may predicate their opinion upon any given subject.  They follow custom and costume, they obey the Law of Averages.  They are, intellectually, all peas in the same conventional pod, unenlightened, prosaic, living by rule and rote.  They have their hair cut every month and their minds keep regular office hours.  Their habits of thought are all ready-made, proper, sober, befitting the Average Man.  They worship dogma.  The Bromide conforms to everything sanctioned by the majority, and may be depended upon to be trite, banal and arbitrary.

So much has a mere name already done for us that we may say, boldly, and this is our First Theorem:  that all Bromides are bromidic in every manifestation of their being.  But a better comprehension of the term, and one which will perhaps remove the taint of malediction, will be attained if we examine in detail a few essential bromidic tendencies.  The adjective is used more in pity than in anger or disgust.  The Bromide can’t possibly help being bromidic—­though, on the other hand, he wouldn’t if he could.

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The chief characteristic, then, seems to be a certain reflex psychological action of the bromidic brain.  This is evidenced by the accepted bromidic belief that each of the ordinary acts of life is, and necessarily must be, accompanied by its own especial remark or opinion.  It is an association of ideas intensified in each generation by the continual correlation of certain groups of brain cells.  It has become not only unnecessary for him to think, but almost impossible, so deeply these well-worn paths of thought have become.  His intellectual processes are automatic—­his train of thought can never get off the track.