* * * * *

SWEARING BY PROXY.

Cardinal Dubois used frequently, in searching after any thing he wanted, to swear excessively.  One of his clerks told him, “Your eminence had better hire a man to swear for you, and then you will gain so much time.”

* * * * *

THE MUNIFICENT SAINT.

A devout lady offered up a prayer to St. Ignatius for the conversion of her husband; a few days after, the man died; “What a good saint is our Ignatius!” exclaimed the consolable widow, “he bestows on us more benefits than we ask for!”

* * * * *

PRODIGALITY.

A petty journalist was boasting in company, that he was a dispenser of fame to those on whom he wrote.  “Yes, Sir,” replied an individual present, “you dispense it so liberally, that you leave none for yourself.”

* * * * *

PHYSIOGNOMISTS.

Pickpockets and beggars are the best practical physiognomists, without having read a line of Lavater, who, it is notorious, mistook a highwayman for a philosopher, and a philosopher for a highwayman.

* * * * *

EPITAPH

In the Broadway churchyard, Westminster, on three children, who all died very early, the eldest being little more than three years of age:—­

  Three children, not dead, but sleeping lies,
  With Christ they live above the skies,
  Wash’d in his blood, and for his dress,
  Christ’s glorious robe of righteousness,
  In which they shine more bright by far
  Than sun, or moon, or morning star;
  In Paradise they wing their way,
  Blooming in one eternal day.

G.W.N.

* * * * *

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* * * * *

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