Book I. Part I. p. 2.
But though my conscience would trouble
me when I sinned, yet divers
sins I was addicted to, and oft committed
against my conscience; which
for the warning of others I will confess
here to my shame.
1. I was much addicted when I feared
correction to lie, that I might
scape.
2. I was much addicted to the excessive
gluttonous eating of apples
and pears, &c.
3. To this end, and to concur with
naughty boys that gloried in evil,
I have oft gone into other men’s
orchards, and stolen their fruit,
when I had enough at home, &c.
There is a childlike simplicity in this account of his sins of his childhood which is very pleasing.
Ib. p. 5, 6.
And the use that God made of books, above ministers, to the benefit of my soul made me somewhat excessively in love with good books; so that I thought I had never enough, but scraped up as great a treasure of them as I could. * * * It made the world seem to me as a carcase that had neither life nor loveliness; and it destroyed those ambitious desires after literate fame which were the sin of my childhood. * * * And for the mathematics, I was an utter stranger to them, and never could find in my heart to divert any studies that way. But in order to the knowledge of divinity, my inclination was most to logic and metaphysics, with that part of physics which treateth of the soul, contenting myself at first with a slighter study of the rest: and there had my labour and delight.
What a picture of myself!
Ib. p. 22.
In the storm of this temptation I questioned
awhile whether I were
indeed a Christian or an Infidel, and
whether faith could consist with
such doubts as I was conscious of.
One of the instances of the evils arising from the equivoque between faith and intellectual satisfaction or insight. The root of faith is in the will. Faith is an oak that may be a pollard, and yet live.
Ib.
The being and attributes of God were so
clear to me, that he was to my
intellect what the sun is to my eye, by
which I see itself and all
things.
Even so with me;—but, whether God was existentially as well as essentially intelligent, this was for a long time a sore combat between the speculative and the moral man.
Ib. p. 23.
Mere Deism, which is the most plausible
competitor with Christianity,
is so turned out of almost all the whole
world, as if Nature made its
own confession, that without a Mediator
it cannot come to God.
Excellent.
Ib.
All these assistances were at hand before
I came to the immediate
evidences of credibility in the sacred
oracles themselves.
This is as it should be; that is, the evidence ‘a priori’, securing the rational probability; and then the historical proofs of its reality. Pity that Baxter’s chapters in ‘The Saints’ Rest’ should have been one and the earliest occasion of the inversion of this process, the fruit of which is the Grotio-Paleyan religion, or ‘minimum’ of faith; the maxim being, ‘quanto minus tanto melius’.