honest.  What shall a man do now in such a case?  What remedy is to be had? how shall he be eased?  By suing a divorce? this is hard to be effected:  si non caste, tamen caute they carry the matter so cunningly, that though it be as common as simony, as clear and as manifest as the nose in a man’s face, yet it cannot be evidently proved, or they likely taken in the fact:  they will have a knave Gallus to watch, or with that Roman [6182]Sulpitia, all made fast and sure,

       “Ne se Cadurcis destitutam fasciis,
        Nudam Caleno concumbentem videat.”

“she will hardly be surprised by her husband, be he never so wary.”  Much better then to put it up:  the more he strives in it, the more he shall divulge his own shame:  make a virtue of necessity, and conceal it.  Yea, but the world takes notice of it, ’tis in every man’s mouth:  let them talk their pleasure, of whom speak they not in this sense?  From the highest to the lowest they are thus censured all:  there is no remedy then but patience.  It may be ’tis his own fault, and he hath no reason to complain, ’tis quid pro quo, she is bad, he is worse:  [6183]"Bethink thyself, hast thou not done as much for some of thy neighbours? why dost thou require that of thy wife, which thou wilt not perform thyself?” Thou rangest like a town bull, [6184]"why art thou so incensed if she tread, awry?”

[6185] “Be it that some woman break chaste wedlock’s laws,
        And leaves her husband and becomes unchaste: 
        Yet commonly it is not without cause,
        She sees her man in sin her goods to waste,
        She feels that he his love from her withdraws,
        And hath on some perhaps less worthy placed. 
        Who strike with sword, the scabbard them may strike,
        And sure love craveth love, like asketh like.”

Ea semper studebit, saith [6186]Nevisanus, pares reddere vices, she will quit it if she can.  And therefore, as well adviseth Siracides, cap. ix. 1. “teach her not an evil lesson against thyself,” which as Jansenius, Lyranus, on his text, and Carthusianus interpret, is no otherwise to be understood than that she do thee not a mischief.  I do not excuse her in accusing thee; but if both be naught, mend thyself first; for as the old saying is, a good husband makes a good wife.

Yea but thou repliest, ’tis not the like reason betwixt man and woman, through her fault my children are bastards, I may not endure it; [6187]_Sit amarulenta, sit imperiosa prodiga_, &c.  Let her scold, brawl, and spend, I care not, modo sit casta, so she be honest, I could easily bear it; but this I cannot, I may not, I will not; “my faith, my fame, mine eye must not be touched,” as the diverb is, Non patitur tactum fama, fides, oculus. I say the same of my wife, touch all, use all, take all but this.  I acknowledge that of Seneca to be true, Nullius boni jucunda possessio sine socio,