mox invisae noctes quae per somnum transiguntur_,
they cannot endure to lie alone, or to fast long. [6060]
Peter Godefridus, in his second book of Love, and sixth
chapter, hath a story out of St. Anthony’s life,
of a gentleman, who, by that good man’s advice,
would not meddle with his wife in the passion week,
but for his pains she set a pair of horns on his head.
Such another he hath out of Abstemius, one persuaded
a new married man, [6061]"to forbear the three first
nights, and he should all his lifetime after be fortunate
in cattle,” but his impatient wife would not
tarry so long: well he might speed in cattle,
but not in children. Such a tale hath Heinsius
of an impotent and slack scholar, a mere student,
and a friend of his, that seeing by chance a fine
damsel sing and dance, would needs marry her, the match
was soon made, for he was young and rich, genis
gratus, corpore glabellus, arte multiscius, et fortuna
opulentus, like that Apollo in [6062]Apuleius.
The first night, having liberally taken his liquor
(as in that country they do) my fine scholar was so
fuzzled, that he no sooner was laid in bed, but he
fell fast asleep, never waked till morning, and then
much abashed, purpureis formosa rosis cum Aurora
ruberet; when the fair morn with purple hue ’gan
shine, he made an excuse, I know not what, out of
Hippocrates Cous, &c., and for that time it went current:
but when as afterward he did not play the man as he
should do, she fell in league with a good fellow,
and whilst he sat up late at his study about those
criticisms, mending some hard places in Festus or Pollux,
came cold to bed, and would tell her still what he
had done, she did not much regard what he said, &c.
[6063]"She would have another matter mended much rather,
which he did not conceive was corrupt:”
thus he continued at his study late, she at her sport,
alibi enim festivas noctes agitabat, hating
all scholars for his sake, till at length he began
to suspect, and turned a little yellow, as well he
might; for it was his own fault; and if men be jealous
in such cases ([6064]as oft it falls out) the mends
is in their own hands, they must thank themselves.
Who will pity them, saith Neander, or be much offended
with such wives, si deceptae prius viros decipiant,
et cornutos reddant, if they deceive those that
cozened them first. A lawyer’s wife in
[6065]Aristaenetus, because her husband was negligent
in his business, quando lecto danda opera,
threatened to cornute him: and did not stick to
tell Philinna, one of her gossips, as much, and that
aloud for him to hear: “If he follow other
men’s matters and leave his own, I’ll have
an orator shall plead my cause,” I care not
if he know it.