more honour to their wealth, they undo their children, many discontents follow, and oftentimes they ruinate their families. [5895]Paulus Jovius gives instance in Galeatius the Second, that heroical Duke of Milan, externas affinitates, decoras quidem regio fastu, sed sibi et posteris damnosas et fere exitiales quaesivit; he married his eldest son John Galeatius to Isabella the King of France his sister, but she was socero tam gravis, ut ducentis millibus aureorum constiterit, her entertainment at Milan was so costly that it almost undid him.  His daughter Violanta was married to Lionel Duke of Clarence, the youngest son to Edward the Third, King of England, but, ad ejus adventum tantae opes tam admirabili liberalitate profusae sunt, ut opulentissimorum regum splendorem superasse videretur, he was welcomed with such incredible magnificence, that a king’s purse was scarce able to bear it; for besides many rich presents of horses, arms, plate, money, jewels, &c., he made one dinner for him and his company, in which were thirty-two messes and as much provision left, ut relatae a mensa dapes decem millibus hominum sufficerent, as would serve ten thousand men:  but a little after Lionel died, novae nuptae et intempestivis conviviis operam dans, &c., and to the duke’s great loss, the solemnity was ended.  So can titles, honours, ambition, make many brave, but unfortunate matches of all sides for by-respects, (though both crazed in body and mind, most unwilling, averse, and often unfit,) so love is banished, and we feel the smart of it in the end.  But I am too lavish peradventure in this subject.

Another let or hindrance is strict and severe discipline, laws and rigorous customs, that forbid men to marry at set times, and in some places; as apprentices, servants, collegiates, states of lives in copyholds, or in some base inferior offices, [5896]_Velle licet_ in such cases, potiri non licet, as he said.  They see but as prisoners through a grate, they covet and catch, but Tantalus a labris, &c.  Their love is lost, and vain it is in such an estate to attempt. [5897]_Gravissimum est adamare nec potiri_, ’tis a grievous thing to love and not enjoy.  They may, indeed, I deny not, marry if they will, and have free choice, some of them; but in the meantime their case is desperate, Lupum auribus tenent, they hold a wolf by the ears, they must either burn or starve.  ’Tis cornutum sophisma, hard to resolve, if they marry they forfeit their estates, they are undone, and starve themselves through beggary and want:  if they do not marry, in this heroical passion they furiously rage, are tormented, and torn in pieces by their predominate affections.  Every man hath not the gift of continence, let him [5898]pray for it then, as Beza adviseth in his Tract de Divortiis, because God hath so called him to a single life, in taking away the means of marriage. [5899]Paul would have gone from Mysia to Bithynia,