[5859] “Phanaretae ducet filiam, rufam, illam virginem,
Caesiam, sparso ore, adunco naso”------

and though his son utterly dislike, with Clitipho in the comedy, Non possum pater:  If she be rich, Eia (he replies) ut elegans est, credas animum ibi esse? he must and shall have her, she is fair enough, young enough, if he look or hope to inherit his lands, he shall marry, not when or whom he loves, Arconidis hujus filiam, but whom his father commands, when and where he likes, his affection must dance attendance upon him.  His daughter is in the same predicament forsooth, as an empty boat, she must carry what, where, when, and whom her father will.  So that in these businesses the father is still for the best advantage; now the mother respects good kindred, must part the son a proper woman.  All which [5860] Livy exemplifies, dec. 1. lib. 4. a gentleman and a yeoman wooed a wench in Rome (contrary to that statute that the gentry and commonalty must not match together); the matter was controverted:  the gentleman was preferred by the mother’s voice, quae quam splendissimis nuptiis jungi puellam volebat:  the overseers stood for him that was most worth, &c.  But parents ought not to be so strict in this behalf, beauty is a dowry of itself all sufficient, [5861]_Virgo formosa, etsi oppido pauper, abunde dotata est_, [5862]Rachel was so married to Jacob, and Bonaventure, [5863]_in 4. sent_, “denies that he so much as venially sins, that marries a maid for comeliness of person.”  The Jews, Deut. xxi. 11, if they saw amongst the captives a beautiful woman, some small circumstances observed, might take her to wife.  They should not be too severe in that kind, especially if there be no such urgent occasion, or grievous impediment.  ’Tis good for a commonwealth. [5864]Plato holds, that in their contracts “young men should never avoid the affinity of poor folks, or seek after rich.”  Poverty and base parentage may be sufficiently recompensed by many other good qualities, modesty, virtue, religion, and choice bringing up, [5865]"I am poor, I confess, but am I therefore contemptible, and an abject?  Love itself is naked, the graces; the stars, and Hercules clad in a lion’s skin.”  Give something to virtue, love, wisdom, favour, beauty, person; be not all for money.  Besides, you must consider that Amor cogi non potest, love cannot be compelled, they must affect as they may:  [5866]_Fatum est in partibus illis quas sinus abscondit_, as the saying is, marriage and hanging goes by destiny, matches are made in heaven.

       “It lies not in our power to love or hate,
        For will in us is overrul’d by fate.”