They look to be wooed, sought after, and sued to.  Most part they will and cannot, either for the above-named reasons, or for that there is a multitude of suitors equally enamoured, doting all alike; and where one alone must speed, what shall become of the rest?  Hero was beloved of many, but one did enjoy her; Penelope had a company of suitors, yet all missed of their aim.  In such cases he or they must wisely and warily unwind themselves, unsettle his affections by those rules above prescribed,—­ [5856]_quin stultos excutit ignes_, divert his cogitations, or else bravely bear it out, as Turnus did, Tua sit Lavinia conjux, when he could not get her, with a kind of heroical scorn he bid Aeneas take her, or with a milder farewell, let her go. Et Phillida solus habeto, “Take her to you, God give you joy, sir.”  The fox in the emblem would eat no grapes, but why? because he could not get them; care not then for that which may not be had.

Many such inconveniences, lets, and hindrances there are, which cross their projects and crucify poor lovers, which sometimes may, sometimes again cannot be so easily removed.  But put case they be reconciled all, agreed hitherto, suppose this love or good liking be between two alone, both parties well pleased, there is mutuus amor, mutual love and great affection; yet their parents, guardians, tutors, cannot agree, thence all is dashed, the match is unequal:  one rich, another poor:  durus pater, a hard-hearted, unnatural, a covetous father will not marry his son, except he have so much money, ita in aurum omnes insaniunt, as [5857]Chrysostom notes, nor join his daughter in marriage, to save her dowry, or for that he cannot spare her for the service she doth him, and is resolved to part with nothing whilst he lives, not a penny, though he may peradventure well give it, he will not till he dies, and then as a pot of money broke, it is divided amongst them that gaped after it so earnestly.  Or else he wants means to set her out, he hath no money, and though it be to the manifest prejudice of her body and soul’s health, he cares not, he will take no notice of it, she must and shall tarry.  Many slack and careless parents, iniqui patres, measure their children’s affections by their own, they are now cold and decrepit themselves, past all such youthful conceits, and they will therefore starve their children’s genus, have them a pueris [5858] illico nasci senes, they must not marry, nec earum affines esse rerum quas secum fert adolescentia:  ex sua libidine moderatur quae est nunc, non quae olim fuit:  as he said in the comedy:  they will stifle nature, their young bloods must not participate of youthful pleasures, but be as they are themselves old on a sudden.  And ’tis a general fault amongst most parents in bestowing of their children, the father wholly respects wealth, when through his folly, riot, indiscretion, he hath embezzled his estate, to recover himself, he confines and prostitutes his eldest son’s love and affection to some fool, or ancient, or deformed piece for money.