[5784] “Nec integrum unquam transiges laetus diem.”

       “If he or she be such a one,
        Thou hadst much better be alone.”

If she be barren, she is not—­&c.  If she have [5785]children, and thy state be not good, though thou be wary and circumspect, thy charge will undo thee,—­foecunda domum tibi prole gravabit, [5786]thou wilt not be able to bring them up, [5787]"and what greater misery can there be than to beget children, to whom thou canst leave no other inheritance but hunger and thirst?” [5788]_cum fames dominatur, strident voces rogantium panem, penetrantes patris cor_:  what so grievous as to turn them up to the wide world, to shift for themselves?  No plague like to want:  and when thou hast good means, and art very careful of their education, they will not be ruled.  Think but of that old proverb, [Greek:  haeiroon tekna paemata], heroum filii noxae, great men’s sons seldom do well; O utinam aut coelebs mansissem, aut prole carerem! “would that I had either remained single, or not had children,” [5789]Augustus exclaims in Suetonius.  Jacob had his Reuben, Simeon and Levi; David an Amnon, an Absalom, Adoniah; wise men’s sons are commonly fools, insomuch that Spartian concludes, Neminem prope magnorum virorum optimum et utilem reliquisse filium:  [5790]they had been much better to have been childless.  ’Tis too common in the middle sort; thy son’s a drunkard, a gamester, a spendthrift; thy daughter a fool, a whore; thy servants lazy drones and thieves; thy neighbours devils, they will make thee weary of thy life. [5791]"If thy wife be froward, when she may not have her will, thou hadst better be buried alive; she will be so impatient, raving still, and roaring like Juno in the tragedy, there’s nothing but tempests, all is in an uproar.”  If she be soft and foolish, thou wert better have a block, she will shame thee and reveal thy secrets; if wise and learned, well qualified, there is as much danger on the other side, mulierem doctam ducere periculosissimum, saith Nevisanus, she will be too insolent and peevish, [5792]_Malo Venusinam quam te Cornelia mater_.  Take heed; if she be a slut, thou wilt loathe her; if proud, she’ll beggar thee, so [5793]"she’ll spend thy patrimony in baubles, all Arabia will not serve to perfume her hair,” saith Lucian; if fair and wanton, she’ll make thee a cornuto; if deformed, she will paint. [5794]"If her face be filthy by nature, she will mend it by art,” alienis et adscititiis imposturis, “which who can endure?” If she do not paint, she will look so filthy, thou canst not love her, and that peradventure will make thee dishonest.  Cromerus lib. 12. hist., relates of Casimirus, [5795]that he was unchaste, because his wife Aleida, the daughter of Henry, Landgrave of Hesse, was so deformed.  If she be poor, she brings beggary with her (saith Nevisanus), misery and discontent.  If you marry a maid, it is uncertain how she proves,