Injuries, abuses, are very offensive, and so much the more in that they think veterem ferendo invitant novam, “by taking one they provoke another:”  but it is an erroneous opinion, for if that were true, there would be no end of abusing each other; lis litem generat; ’tis much better with patience to bear, or quietly to put it up.  If an ass kick me, saith Socrates, shall I strike him again?  And when [3975]his wife Xantippe struck and misused him, to some friends that would have had him strike her again, he replied, that he would not make them sport, or that they should stand by and say, Eia Socrates, eia Xantippe, as we do when dogs fight, animate them the more by clapping of hands.  Many men spend themselves, their goods, friends, fortunes, upon small quarrels, and sometimes at other men’s procurements, with much vexation of spirit and anguish of mind, all which with good advice, or mediation of friends, might have been happily composed, or if patience had taken place.  Patience in such cases is a most sovereign remedy, to put up, conceal, or dissemble it, to [3976]forget and forgive, [3977]"not seven, but seventy-seven times, as often as he repents forgive him;” Luke xvii. 3. as our Saviour enjoins us, stricken, “to turn the other side:”  as our [3978]Apostle persuades us, “to recompense no man evil for evil, but as much as is possible to have peace with all men:  not to avenge ourselves, and we shall heap burning coals upon our adversary’s head.”  “For [3979]if you put up wrong” (as Chrysostom comments), “you get the victory; he that loseth his money, loseth not the conquest in this our philosophy.”  If he contend with thee, submit thyself unto him first, yield to him. Durum et durum non faciunt murum, as the diverb is, two refractory spirits will never agree, the only means to overcome is to relent, obsequio vinces.  Euclid in Plutarch, when his brother had angered him, swore he would be revenged; but he gently replied, [3980]"Let me not live if I do not make thee to love me again,” upon which meek answer he was pacified.

[3981] “Flectitur obsequio curvatus ab arbore ramus,
        Frangis si vires experire tuas.”

       “A branch if easily bended yields to thee,
        Pull hard it breaks:  the difference you see.”

The noble family of the Colonni in Rome, when they were expelled the city by that furious Alexander the Sixth, gave the bending branch therefore as an impress, with this motto, Flecti potest, frangi non potest, to signify that he might break them by force, but so never make them stoop, for they fled in the midst of their hard usage to the kingdom of Naples, and were honourably entertained by Frederick the king, according to their callings.  Gentleness in this case might have done much more, and let thine adversary be never so perverse, it may be by that means thou mayst win him; [3982] favore et benevolentia etiam immanis animus mansuescit, soft words pacify wrath, and the fiercest spirits are so soonest overcome; [3983]a generous lion will not hurt a beast that lies prostrate, nor an elephant an innocuous creature, but is infestus infestis, a terror and scourge alone to such as are stubborn, and make resistance.  It was the symbol of Emanuel Philibert, Duke of Savoy, and he was not mistaken in it, for