[2163]The Gods had their Momus, Homer his Zoilus, Achilles his Thersites, Philip his Demades:  the Caesars themselves in Rome were commonly taunted.  There was never wanting a Petronius, a Lucian in those times, nor will be a Rabelais, an Euphormio, a Boccalinus in ours.  Adrian the sixth pope [2164]was so highly offended, and grievously vexed with pasquillers at Rome, he gave command that his statue should be demolished and burned, the ashes flung into the river Tiber, and had done it forthwith, had not Ludovicus Suessanus, a facete companion, dissuaded him to the contrary, by telling him, that pasquil’s ashes would turn to frogs in the bottom of the river, and croak worse and louder than before,—­genus irritabile vatum, and therefore [2165]Socrates in Plato adviseth all his friends, “that respect their credits, to stand in awe of poets, for they are terrible fellows, can praise and dispraise as they see cause.” Hinc quam sit calamus saevior ense patet.  The prophet David complains, Psalm cxxiii. 4. “that his soul was full of the mocking of the wealthy, and of the despitefulness of the proud,” and Psalm lv. 4. “for the voice of the wicked, &c., and their hate:  his heart trembled within him, and the terrors of death came upon him; fear and horrible fear,” &c., and Psal. lxix. 20.  “Rebuke hath broken my heart, and I am full of heaviness.”  Who hath not like cause to complain, and is not so troubled, that shall fall into the mouths of such men? for many are of so [2166]petulant a spleen; and have that figure Sarcasmus so often in their mouths, so bitter, so foolish, as [2167]Balthazar Castilio notes of them, that “they cannot speak, but they must bite;” they had rather lose a friend than a jest; and what company soever they come in, they will be scoffing, insulting over their inferiors, especially over such as any way depend upon them, humouring, misusing, or putting gulleries on some or other till they have made by their humouring or gulling [2168]_ex stulto insanum_, a mope or a noddy, and all to make themselves merry: 

[2169]  ------“dummodo risum
Excutiat sibi; non hic cuiquam parcit amico;”

Friends, neuters, enemies, all are as one, to make a fool a madman, is their sport, and they have no greater felicity than to scoff and deride others; they must sacrifice to the god of laughter, with them in [2170] Apuleius, once a day, or else they shall be melancholy themselves; they care not how they grind and misuse others, so they may exhilarate their own persons.  Their wits indeed serve them to that sole purpose, to make sport, to break a scurrile jest, which is levissimus ingenii fructus, the froth of wit, as [2171]Tully holds, and for this they are often applauded, in all other discourse, dry, barren, stramineous, dull and heavy, here lies their genius, in this they alone excel, please themselves and others.  Leo Decimus, that scoffing pope, as Jovius hath registered in the Fourth book of his life, took an extraordinary