Mrs. Bevis allowed, that there was a vast deal in education—­and in pride too, she said.  While Miss Rawlins came with a prudish God forbid that virtue should be owing to education only!  However, I declared that Miss Howe was a subtle contriver of mischief; one who had always been my enemy:  her motives I knew not:  but despised the man whom her mother was desirous she should have, one Hickman; although I did not directly aver that she would rather have had me; yet they all immediately imagined that that was the ground of her animosity to me, and of her envy to my beloved:  and it was pity, they said, that so fine a young lady did not see through such a pretended friend.

And yet nobody [added I] has more reason than she to know by experience the force of a hatred founded in envy; as I hinted to you above, Mrs. Moore, and to you, Miss Rawlins, in the case of her sister Arabella.

I had compliments made to my person and talents on this occasion:  which gave me a singular opportunity of displaying my modesty, by disclaiming the merit of them, with a No, indeed!—­I should be very vain, Ladies, if I thought so.  While thus abusing myself, and exalting Miss Howe, I got their opinion both for modesty and generosity; and had all the graces which I disclaimed thrown in upon me besides.

In short, they even oppressed that modesty, which (to speak modestly of myself) their praises created, by disbelieving all I said against myself.

And, truly, I must needs say, they have almost persuaded even me myself, that Miss Howe is actually in love with me.  I have often been willing to hope this.  And who knows but she may?  The Captain and I have agreed, that it shall be so insinuated occasionally—­And what’s thy opinion, Jack?  She certainly hates Hickman; and girls who are disengaged seldom hate, though they may not love:  and if she had rather have another, why not that other me?  For am I not a smart fellow, and a rake?  And do not your sprightly ladies love your smart fellow, and your rakes?  And where is the wonder, that the man who could engage the affections of Miss Harlowe, should engage those of a lady (with her* alas’s) who would be honoured in being deemed her second?

* See Letter XX. of this volume, where Miss Howe says, Alas! my dear, I know you loved him!

Nor accuse thou me of singular vanity in this presumption, Belford.  Wert thou to know the secret vanity that lurks in the hearts of those who disguise or cloke it best, thou wouldst find great reason to acquit, at least, to allow for me:  since it is generally the conscious over-fulness of conceit, that makes the hypocrite most upon his guard to conceal it.  Yet with these fellows, proudly humble as they are, it will break out sometimes in spite of their clokes, though but in self-denying, compliment-begging self-degradation.