“We hod tull go out stern first, an’ somethun’ went wrong wuth the reversun’ gear.  Old MacPherson said he could work ut by hond, but very slow ot thot.  An’ I said ‘All right.’  We started.  The pilot was on board.  The tide was ebbun’ stuffly, an’ right abreast an’ a but below was a shup lyin’ wuth a lighter on each side.  I saw the shup’s ridun’ lights, but never a light on the lighters.  Ut was close quarters to shuft a bug vessel onder steam, wuth MacPherson workun’ the reversun’ gear by hond.  We hod to come close down upon the shup afore I could go ahead an’ clear o’ the shups on the dock-ends.  An’ we struck the lighter stern-on, just uz I rung tull MacPherson half ahead.

“‘What was thot?’ says the pilot, when we struck the lighter.

“‘I dunna know,’ says I, ‘an’ I’m wonderun’.’

“The pilot was no keen, ye see, tull hus job.  I went on tull a guid place an’ dropped anchor, an’ ut would all a-been well but for thot domned eediot mate.

“‘We smashed thot lighter,’ says he, comun’ up the lodder tull the brudge—­an’ the pilot stondun’ there wuth his ears cocked tull hear.

“‘What lighter?’ says I.

“‘Thot lighter alongside the shup,’ says the mate.

“‘I dudna see no lighter,’ says I, and wuth thot I steps on hus fut guid an’ hard.

“After the pilot was gone I says tull the mate:  ’Uf you dunna know onythun’, old mon, for Heaven’s sake keep your mouth shut.’

“‘But ye dud smash thot lighter, dudn’t ye?’ says he.

“‘Uf we dud,’ says I, ‘ut’s no your buzz’ness tull be tellun’ the pilot—­though, mind ye, I’m no admuttun’ there was ony lighter.’

“An’ next marnun’, just uz I’m after dressun’, the steward says, ’A mon tull see ye, sir.’  ‘Fetch hum un,’ says I. An’ un he come.  ‘Sut down,’ says I. An’ he sot down.

“He was the owner of the lighter, an’ when he hod told hus story, I says, ‘I dudna see ony lighter.’

“‘What, mon?’ says he.  ’No see a two-hundred-ton lighter, bug oz a house, alongside thot shup?’

“‘I was goin’ by the shup’s lights,’ says I, ‘an’ I dudna touch the shup, thot I know.’

“‘But ye dud touch the lighter,’ says he.  ’Ye smashed her.  There’s a thousand dollars’ domage done, an’ I’ll see ye pay for ut.’

‘Look here, muster,’ says I, ‘when I’m shuftun’ a shup ot night I follow the law, an’ the law dustunctly says I must regulate me actions by the lights o’ the shuppun’.  Your lighter never hod no ridun’ light, nor dud I look for ony lighter wuthout lights tull show ut.’

“‘The mate says—­’ he beguns.

“‘Domn the mate,’ says I.  ‘Dud your lighter hov a ridun’ light?’

“‘No, ut dud not,’ says he, ’but ut was a clear night wuth the moon a-showun’.’

“‘Ye seem tull know your buzz’ness,’ says I.  ’But let me tell ye thot I know my buzz’ness uz well, an’ thot I’m no a-lookun’ for lighters wuthout lights.  Uf ye thunk ye hov a case, go ahead.  The steward will show ye out.  Guid day.’