FIRST CHICKEN
To us, of course!

SECOND CHICKEN
To us!

THIRD CHICKEN
To us!

ALL THREE
[Bowing at once.] Good morning!

FIRST CHICKEN
Your voice?

SECOND CHICKEN
Tenor?

THIRD CHICKEN
Bass?

SECOND CHICKEN
Robusto?

THIRD CHICKEN
Di cortesia?

CHANTECLER [Bewildered, looking toward the PHEASANT-HEN.] What is this?  An interlude?

THE PHEASANT-HEN
An interview.

SECOND CHICKEN
Do you take it in your chest?

THIRD CHICKEN
Or in your head?

CHANTECLER
Do I take what?

FIRST CHICKEN
Pray talk without reserve.  We represent the Board of Investigation into
the Gallodoodle Movement.

CHANTECLER
That’s all very well, but I—­[Attempting to pass.]

FIRST CHICKEN
You will find it difficult, I think, to leave, until you have answered
such questions as we are pleased to ask.  Is your early meal a light one?

CHANTECLER
But—­

SECOND CHICKEN
You have tendencies, no doubt—­

CHANTECLER
Hosts.

SECOND CHICKEN
What do you feel most particularly drawn to?

CHANTECLER
Hens.

FIRST CHICKEN [Without smiling.] Have you nothing to communicate with regard to your song?

CHANTECLER
I just sing.

SECOND CHICKEN
And when you sing—?

CHANTECLER
The heavens hear me.

THIRD CHICKEN
Have you a special method?

CHANTECLER
I—­

FIRST CHICKEN
You live—­

CHANTECLER
To sing!

SECOND CHICKEN
And your song—?

CHANTECLER
Is my life!

THIRD CHICKEN
But how do you sing?

CHANTECLER
I take pains.

FIRST CHICKEN
But do you scan [Beating furiously with his wing.] one-one-two
One-three?  Three-one?  Or four?  What is your dynamic theory?

THE BLACKBIRD
[Shouting.] Who has not his little pet dynamic theory?

CHANTECLER
Dyna—?

SECOND CHICKEN
Where do you place the accent?  On the Cock—?

THIRD CHICKEN
On the Doo?

CHANTECLER
On the—­

FIRST CHICKEN
[Impatiently.] What is your school?

CHANTECLER
Schools of Cocks?

SECOND CHICKEN
[Rapidly.] Certainly.  Some sing Cock-a-doodle-doo, and some
Keek-a-deedle-dee!

CHANTECLER
Cock—?  Keek—?

THIRD CHICKEN
Not to speak of those who—­

A COCK
[Coming forward.] The correct and proper way to crow is
Cowkerdowdledow!

CHANTECLER
What Cock is that?

FIRST CHICKEN
An Anglo-Indian.

SECOND CHICKEN
And the Turk over there, whose comb suggests a cyst, crows
Coocooroocoocoo!