THE PHEASANT-HEN
My dear sir, I prefer to tell you at once that if it is for my benefit
you are doing that—­

CHANTECLER
[Stopping short.] What?

THE PHEASANT-HEN
The eye—­the peculiar gait—­the drooping wing—­the “Coa—­”

CHANTECLER
But I—­

THE PHEASANT-HEN
You do it all very nicely, I admit; only, it has not the very slightest
effect upon me!

CHANTECLER
[Slightly abashed.] Madam—­

THE PHEASANT-HEN Oh, I understand, of course.  We are the illustrious Cock!  Not a Hen in the world but preens her feathers in the hope—­the very touching hope, certainly—­of offering us a moment’s distraction, some day, between two songs.  We are so sure of ourself that we never hesitate, not even when the lady is a visitor, and not quite the ordinary short-kirtled Hen whom one can engage without further ceremony by such advances—­

CHANTECLER
But—­

THE PHEASANT-HEN
I do not bestow my affections quite so lightly.  For my taste, anyhow,
you are altogether too frankly Cock of the Walk!

CHANTECLER
Too—?

THE PHEASANT-HEN
Spoiled!  The only Cock to my fancy would be a plain inglorious Cock to
whom I should be all in all.

CHANTECLER
But—­

THE PHEASANT-HEN
Love a celebrated Cock?  I am not such a very woman!

CHANTECLER
But—­well—­still—­We might, however, Madam, take a little stroll together!

THE PHEASANT-HEN
Yes, like two friends.

CHANTECLER
Two friends.

THE PHEASANT-HEN
Two chickens.

CHANTECLER
Very old!

THE PHEASANT-HEN
[Quickly.] No, no—­not old!  Very ugly!

CHANTECLER [Quicker still.] Oh, no, not ugly! [Coming nearer to her.] Will you take a turn in the yard?—­Accept my wing!

THE PHEASANT-HEN
You shall show me the sights.

CHANTECLER [Stopping before the CHICKENS’ drinking-trough.]This, of course, is hideous.  It is a model drinking-trough on the siphon principle, made of galvanised iron.  But everything excepting that is charming, noble, time and weather worn, from the hen-house roof to the stable door—­

THE BLACKBIRD
[Returning.] The Guinea-hen is having a fit!

THE PHEASANT-HEN [To CHANTECLER, looking about her.] And so you live here untroubled, and have nothing to fear?

CHANTECLER Nothing whatever.  Because the owner is a vegetarian An amazing man, a lover of animals.  He calls them by names borrowed from the poets.  The donkey there is Midas; the heifer, Io.

THE BLACKBIRD
The showman’s on the job!

THE PHEASANT-HEN
[Indicating the BLACKBIRD.] And that?

CHANTECLER
Our humorist.

THE PHEASANT-HEN
What does he do?

CHANTECLER
Oh, he keeps busy!