LYUBIM KARPYCH.  Sh!  It’s not a question of rubles here!  Pay up your old debts, and for my niece here a million three hundred thousand!  I won’t sell her cheaper.

KORSHUNOV. [Laughing] Won’t you come down?

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  Not a kopek!

RAZLYULYAYEV.  Aha, Lyubim Karpych!  Don’t you take any less!

GORDEY KARPYCH comes in.

SCENE XI

The same with GORDEY KARPYCH

GORDEY KARPYCH.  So you are here!  What are you doing in my house?  Clear out!

KORSHUNOV.  Wait a bit, Gordey Karpych; don’t turn him out!  Why turn him out?  Let him show off and make jokes.  He, he, he!

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  It’s my brother that’s joking, in giving his daughter to you, but I’ll play such a joke on you as won’t suit your stomach!

GORDEY KARPYCH.  This isn’t the place for him.  Get out!

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  Wait, brother, don’t turn me out!  Do you think Lyubim Tortsov has come to make jokes?  Do you think Lyubim Tortsov is drunk?  I have come to you to ask riddles. [To KORSHUNOV] Why has an ass long ears?  Now, then, give us an answer?

RAZLYULYAYEV.  That’s a hard one!

KORSHUNOV.  How do I know?

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  So that all may know that he is an ass. [To his brother]
Here’s a riddle for you!  To whom are you marrying your daughter?

GORDEY KARPYCH.  That’s not your affair!  You’ve no business to ask me.

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  And here’s another question for you.  Are you an honest merchant, or not?  If you are honest, don’t associate with a dishonest one.  You can’t touch soot and not be defiled.

KORSHUNOV.  Joke away—­but don’t forget yourself, my dear fellow!  Turn him out, or make him keep quiet.

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  That meant you!  One can see you are as clean as a chimney-sweep!

GORDEY KARPYCH.  Brother, go away quietly, or it will be the worse for you.

LYUBOV GORDEYEVNA. [Starting up in a fright] Uncle, stop!

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  I won’t be quiet!  Now blood has begun to talk! All the domestics and guests enter.

SCENE XII

The same with PELAGEYA EGOROVNA, ANNA IVANOVNA, GUSLIN, guests, and servants.

LYUBIM KARPYCH.  Listen, good people!  They are insulting Lyubim Tortsov, they are driving him away.  But am I not a guest too?  Why should they drive me away?  My clothes are not clean, but I have a clean conscience!  I’m not Korshunov; I didn’t rob the poor, I didn’t ruin another’s life, I didn’t torment my wife with jealousy.  Me they drive away, but he’s their most esteemed guest, and he’s put in the place of honor.  Well, never mind!  They’ll give him another wife.  My brother is marrying his daughter to him!  Ha, ha, ha! [Laughs tragically]

KORSHUNOV. [Jumps up] Don’t believe him; he lies!  He says this out of spite to me.  He’s drunk!