FOMINISHNA.  Are you getting ready to bawl?  Don’t you think of it!—­What fun do you get out of teasing her, Agrafena Kondratyevna?

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA.  Who’s teasing her?  She’s mighty touchy.

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  Well, well, if you’ve got your mind set on a nobleman, we’ll find you one.  What sort do you want; rather stout, or rather lean?

LIPOCHKA.  Doesn’t matter, it’s all right if he’s rather stout, so long as he’s no shorty.  Of course he’d better be tall than an insignificant little runt!  And most of all, Ustinya Naumovna, he mustn’t be snub-nosed, and he absolutely must be dark-complexioned.  It’s understood, of course, that he must be dressed like the men in the magazines. [She glances at the mirror] Oh, Lord, my hair looks like a feather-duster to-day!

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  Now, my jewel, I have a husband for you of the very sort you describe:  aristocratic, tall, and brown-complected.

LIPOCHKA.  Oh, Ustinya Naumovna!  Not brown-complected, but dark-complexioned!

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  Yes, much I need, in my old age, to split my tongue talking your lingo.  What I said, goes.  He has peasants, and wears a norder about his neck.  Now you go get dressed, and your mamma and I will talk this thing over.

LIPOCHKA.  Oh, my dear, sweet Ustinya Naumovna, come up to my room a bit later; I must talk with you.  Let’s go, Fominishna.

FOMINISHNA.  Ha, what a fidgety child you are!

[They go out.

SCENE VII

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA and USTINYA NAUMOVNA

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA.  Won’t you have a sip of cordial before your tea, Ustinya Naumovna?

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  Don’t care if I do, my jewel.

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA. [Pouring] With my compliments.

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  You ought to drink first, my pearl.

[Drinks.

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA.  I’ll look out for myself!

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  Ya!  Phoo!  Where d’you get this decoction?

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA.  At the wine-shop. [Drinks.

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  Buy it in bulk, I suppose?

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA.  By the gallon.  What should you want to buy in small quantities for?  Our expenses, you see, are heavy.

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  What’s the use of talking, my dear, what’s the use!  Now, I’ve been bustling about, bustling about for you, Agrafena Kondratyevna; trudging, trudging over the pavement, and at last I’ve grubbed up a suitable man:  you’ll gasp for joy, my jewels, for a fact.

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA.  At last you’re talking sense!

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  A man of birth and of standing; such a grandee as you never even dreamed of.

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA.  I see I’ll have to ask Samson Silych for a couple of fivers for you.

USTINYA NAUMOVNA.  That’s all right, my jewel, I don’t mind!  And he has peasants, wears a norder on his neck; and as for intellect, why, he’s simply a bonanza.