AFONYA.  Serves her right.

ULYANA.  Ah, my dear!  What will happen to you now?

ARKHIP.  Where is he?  Where is he? [AFONYA leads him] What have you done?  Who gave you the right?  Is she guilty only towards you?  First of all, she is guilty before God; and you, a proud and willful man, have taken it upon yourself to judge?  You couldn’t wait for the merciful judgment of God; so now go to the judgment of man, yourself!  Bind him!

KURITSYN.  He didn’t expect it, he didn’t foresee it, but he fell into sorrow!  Sorrow walks not through the woods, but among men.

IT’S A FAMILY AFFAIR—­WE’LL SETTLE IT OURSELVES

A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS

CHARACTERS

SAMSON SILYCH BOLSHOV[1], a merchant

[Footnote 1:  Samson Strengthson Bigman.]

AGRAFENA KONDRATYEVNA, his wife

OLIMPIADA SAMSONOVNA (LIPOCHKA), their daughter

LAZAR ELIZARYCH PODKHALYUZIN[2], a clerk

[Footnote 2:  Sneaky.]

USTINYA NAUMOVNA, a professional match-maker

SYSOY PSOICH RISPOLOZHENSKY[3], a lawyer

[Footnote 3:  Unfrocked.]

FOMINISHNA, housekeeper }
                          } in BOLSHOV’S house
TISKA[4], boy }

[Footnote 4:  A nickname for Tikhon.]

ACT I

Drawing-room in BOLSHOV’S house

SCENE I

LIPOCHKA is sitting near the window with a book

LIPOCHKA.  What a pleasant occupation these dances are!  Very good indeed!  What could be more delightful?  You go to the assembly, or to somebody’s wedding, you sit down, naturally, all beflowered like a doll or a magazine picture.  Suddenly up runs a gentleman:  “May I have the happiness, miss?” Well, you see, if he’s a man of wit, or a military individual, you accept, drop your eyes a little, and answer:  “If you please, with pleasure!” Ah! [Warmly] Most fas-ci-nat-ing!  Simply beyond understanding! [Sighs] I dislike most of all dancing with students and government office clerks.  But it’s the real thing to dance with army men!  Ah, charming! ravishing!  Their mustaches, and epaulets, and uniforms, and on some of them even spurs with little bits of bells.  Only it’s killingly tiresome that they don’t wear a sabre.  Why do they take it off?  It’s strange, plague take it!  The soldiers themselves don’t understand how much more fascinatingly they’d shine!  If they were to take a look at the spurs, the way they tinkle, especially if a uhlan or some colonel or other is showing off—­wonderful!  It’s just splendid to look at them—­lovely!  And if he’d just fasten on a sabre, you’d simply never see anything more delightful, you’d