I amused myself in making an excursion to Epping Forest, till I thought the civil war at my late friend’s habitation might have proceeded far enough for my presence to be useful.  In the forest, one day, I had the luck to kill one of those troublesome reptiles—­a Tom Cat.  I believe, however, it was a house one.  After a hard day’s hunting his highness made too free at a Valerian party.  I watched my opportunity, and soon put an effectual end to his caterwauling.  When I returned to the abbey, I found I was in the best possible time—­the garrison being reduced to about a dozen, and they so weakened and tired out with the constant worrying work they had had, that I was myself a complete match for any two of them.  In a few days the number was only four, and in other two days I was sole lord and master.

[He then returns to town.]

At a friend’s house, in Berkeley Square, where I met a distinguished party, a scene took place, just such as Pope describes—­

  Our courtier walks from dish to dish;
  Tastes, for his friend, of fowl and fish: 
  “That jelly’s rich, that malmsey’s healing,
  Pray dip your whiskers and your tail in.” 
  Was ever such a happy swain? 
  He stuffs, and swills, and stuffs again. 
  “I’m quite ashamed—­’Tis mighty rude
  To eat so much; but all’s so good! 
  I have a thousand thanks to give,
  My lord alone knows how to live.”—­
  No sooner said, but from the hall
  Rush chaplain, butler, dogs, and all: 
  “A r—­t, a r—­t! clap to the door!”—­

I, however, made good my exit, and was nothing the worse of a practical warning to be more cautious in future.

It would be endless for me to describe all my after voyages and travels.  Suffice it to say, I have been both east and west, north and south; and there is scarcely a part of the habitable globe which I have not visited.  After all, I have come to this conclusion, that there is no country like Britain.  Oh! how I could wish my human existence had been in such happy times and under such glorious sovereigns as a George the Third, and George the Fourth!!!

For some years I have remained in this country, enjoying (like a patriarch of old) a quiet, regular life with my family, which now amounts to above 2,000.  I, however, keep very much to my own room, as I hate bustle, and like to enjoy my own reflections.

The age to which our species can exist is not ascertained, as never one of us was known to die in his bed, at least a natural death.  A kind of instinct I have always had, has as yet saved me from arsenic, stewed corks, traps, stamps, &c.; and my great strength, and a good deal of science, which is of more consequence, have, as yet, preserved me in many a deadly combat, both with my own species, and with the dog, the ferret, the weasel, the hawk, and that green-eyed monster—­the cat.  But I am now getting somewhat stiffer, and am not so sharp as I was.  I am not—­