But, later on, he finds out that it is a real foundation which underlies these alliances; that they are based upon some material interest.  This is the true foundation of almost all alliances:  nay, most men have no notion of an alliance resting upon any other basis.  Accordingly we find that a man is always measured by the office he holds, or by his occupation, nationality, or family relations—­in a word, by the position and character which have been assigned him in the conventional arrangements of life, where he is ticketed and treated as so much goods.  Reference to what he is in himself, as a man—­to the measure of his own personal qualities—­is never made unless for convenience’ sake:  and so that view of a man is something exceptional, to be set aside and ignored, the moment that anyone finds it disagreeable; and this is what usually happens.  But the more of personal worth a man has, the less pleasure he will take in these conventional arrangements; and he will try to withdraw from the sphere in which they apply.  The reason why these arrangements exist at all, is simply that in this world of ours misery and need are the chief features:  therefore it is everywhere the essential and paramount business of life to devise the means of alleviating them.

SECTION 33.  As paper-money circulates in the world instead of real coin, so, is the place of true esteem and genuine friendship, you have the outward appearance of it—­a mimic show made to look as much like the real thing as possible.

On the other hand, it may be asked whether there are any people who really deserve the true coin.  For my own part, I should certainly pay more respect to an honest dog wagging his tail than to a hundred such demonstrations of human regard.

True and genuine friendship presupposes a strong sympathy with the weal and woe of another—­purely objective in its character and quite disinterested; and this in its turn means an absolute identification of self with the object of friendship.  The egoism of human nature is so strongly antagonistic to any such sympathy, that true friendship belongs to that class of things—­the sea-serpent, for instance,—­with regard to which no one knows whether they are fabulous or really exist somewhere or other.

Still, in many cases, there is a grain of true and genuine friendship in the relation of man to man, though generally, of course, some secret personal interest is at the bottom of them—­some one among the many forms that selfishness can take.  But in a world where all is imperfect, this grain of true feeling is such an ennobling influence that it gives some warrant for calling those relations by the name of friendship, for they stand far above the ordinary friendships that prevail amongst mankind.  The latter are so constituted that, were you to hear how your dear friends speak of you behind your back, you would never say another word to them.