We had always thought hosiery was sold by the foot.

* * * * *

“On the estate of the late Hon. Lionel Walrond, Uffculme, Devon, Robert James, 97, is felling for the purpose of aeroplane construction aspen trees which he helped to plant 80 years ago.”—­The Times.

Three cheers for Mr. ROBERT JAMES!  “For he’s a jolly good feller!”

* * * * *

BEASTS ROYAL.

II.

CAESAR’S GIRAFFE.  B.C. 46.

  From Egypt, Africa and Gaul
    CAESAR his Roman triumph brings: 
    Dark queens and ruddy-bearded kings,
  And scowling Britons led in thrall,
    And elephants with silver rings;
  But oh, more excellent than all,
    This pensive beast, this mottled beast,
    From the marshes of the East.

  Patres conscripti, hail him now
    Divine!  Through Rome his triumph rolls;
    Oysters in barrels, pearls in bowls,
  Chariots and horsemen, moving slow
    Where purple garlands droop on poles.
  Patres conscripti, crown his brow,
    Who brought us from the golden East
    This unimagined peerless beast!

  Never has CAESAR made our foes
    Weep more than he has made us laugh;
    He who divides the world in half
  With the long shadow of his nose,
    And bridges oceans with his staff,
  Brings now, with pomp of vine and rose,
    This wondering and wondrous beast
    From the subjugated East.

  In bronze and basalt let us raise
    The bust of CAESAR; he has done
    Great things for Rome; but here is one
  Above the rest, o’ertopping praise. 
    The elephants and kings are gone,
  But still the roaring tumult sways—­
    Much for the Conqueror of the East,
    More for the incomparable beast.

* * * * *

AN INVOLUNTARY RAID.

Life in a convalescent hospital for officers is not one continuous round of gaiety, but it has its incidents for all that.

The other day Sister took Haynes, Ansell and myself to have tea with some people in the neighbouring village of Little Budford.  We were waiting in the hall for the car when Seymour came along.  Seymour is an adjutant when he is not at home, and he likes to see things done with proper military precision.

“Here,” he said, “you can’t go off casually like that.  Fall in, tea-party.”

We fell in, and he went to the smoking-room and woke Major Stanley.

“Party for tea ready for inspection, Sir,” he reported.

“Who?  What?  Where?” asked the Major confusedly.  “Good Lord, you young idiot, what a scare you gave me!  Thought I was back in France for a moment.  Where’s this party paraded?”

“Hout in the ’all, Sir.”  Seymour led him to where we were standing at ease.