Whomsoever he meets he stays with idle questions, and
lingering discourse; how the days are lengthened,
how kindly the weather is, how false the clock, how
forward the spring, and ends ever with, What shall
we do? It pleases him no less to hinder others
than not to work himself. When all the people
are gone from church, he is left sleeping in his seat
alone. He enters bonds, and forfeits them by forgetting
the day; and asks his neighbour when his own field
was fallowed, whether the next piece of ground belong
not to himself. His care is either none or too
late. When winter is come, after some sharp visitations,
he looks on his pile of wood, and asks how much was
cropped the last spring. Necessity drives him
to every action, and what he cannot avoid he will yet
defer. Every change troubles him, although to
the better, and his dulness counterfeits a kind of
contentment. When he is warned on a jury, he had
rather pay the mulct than appear. All but that
which Nature will not permit he doth by a deputy,
and counts it troublesome to do nothing, but to do
anything yet more. He is witty in nothing but
framing excuses to sit still, which if the occasion
yield not he coineth with ease. There is no work
that is not either dangerous or thankless, and whereof
he foresees not the inconvenience and gainlessness
before he enters; which if it be verified in event,
his next idleness hath found a reason to patronize
it. He had rather freeze than fetch wood, and
chooses rather to steal than work; to beg than take
pains to steal, and in many things to want than beg.
He is so loth to leave his neighbour’s fire,
that he is fain to walk home in the dark; and if he
be not looked to, wears out the night in the chimney-corner,
or if not that, lies down in his clothes, to save
two labours. He eats and prays himself asleep,
and dreams of no other torment but work. This
man is a standing pool, and cannot choose but gather
corruption. He is descried amongst a thousand
neighbours by a dry and nasty hand, that still savours
of the sheet, a beard uncut, unkempt, an eye and ear
yellow with their excretions, a coat shaken on, ragged,
unbrushed, by linen and face striving whether shall
excel in uncleanness. For body, he hath a swollen
leg, a dusky and swinish eye, a blown cheek, a drawling
tongue, an heavy foot, and is nothing but a colder
earth moulded with standing water. To conclude,
is a man in nothing but in speech and shape.
OF THE COVETOUS.
He is a servant to himself, yea, to his servant; and doth base homage to that which should be the worst drudge. A lifeless piece of earth is his master, yea his god, which he shrines in his coffer, and to which he sacrifices his heart. Every face of his coin is a new image, which he adores with the highest veneration; yet takes upon him to be protector of that he worshippeth, which he fears to keep and abhors to lose, not daring to trust either any other