England before other countries because he was born there, and Oxford before other universities, because he was brought up there, and the best scholar there is one of his own college, and the best scholar there is one of his friends.  He is a great favourer of great persons, and his argument is still that which should be antecedent; as,—­he is in high place, therefore virtuous;—­he is preferred, therefore worthy.  Never ask his opinion, for you shall hear but his faction, and he is indifferent in nothing but conscience.  Men esteem him for this a zealous affectionate, but they mistake him many times, for he does it but to be esteemed so.  Of all men he is worst to write an history, for he will praise a Sejanus or Tiberius, and for some petty respect of his all posterity shall be cozened.

A TRUMPETER

Is the elephant with the great trunk, for he eats nothing but what comes through this way.  His profession is not so worthy as to occasion insolence, and yet no man so much puffed up.  His face is as brazen as his trumpet, and (which is worse) as a fiddler’s, from whom he differeth only in this, that his impudence is dearer.  The sea of drink and much wind make a storm perpetually in his cheeks, and his look is like his noise, blustering and tempestuous.  He was whilom the sound of war, but now of peace; yet as terrible as ever, for wheresoever he comes they are sure to pay for it.  He is the common attendant of glittering folks, whether in the court or stage, where he is always the prologue’s prologue.[63] He is somewhat in the nature of a hogshead, shrillest when he is empty; when his belly is full he is quiet enough.  No man proves life more to be a blast, or himself a bubble, and he is like a counterfeit bankrupt, thrives best when he is blown up.

A VULGAR-SPIRITED MAN

Is one of the herd of the world.  One that follows merely the common cry, and makes it louder by one.  A man that loves none but who are publickly affected, and he will not be wiser than the rest of the town.  That never owns a friend after an ill name, or some general imputation, though he knows it most unworthy.  That opposes to reason, “thus men say;” and “thus most do;” and “thus the world goes;” and thinks this enough to poise the other.  That worships men in place, and those only; and thinks all a great man speaks oracles.  Much taken with my lord’s jest, and repeats you it all to a syllable.  One that justifies nothing out of fashion, nor any opinion out of the applauded way.  That thinks certainly all Spaniards and Jesuits very villains, and is still cursing the pope and Spinola.  One that thinks the gravest cassock the best scholar; and the best clothes the finest man.  That is taken only with broad and obscene wit, and hisses any thing too deep for him.  That cries, Chaucer for his money above all our English poets, because the voice has gone so, and he has read