“It must have been very sweet,” I observed, “for those who were able to receive Jesus as the true Messiah, and his teachings as infallible, to hear these words from his lips.”

“And do you not so receive them?” William asked.

“We will not speak of that; my opinion is of no weight.”

“But you must have thought much of these things,” he persisted; “tell me what result you have arrived at.”

“Candidly, then,” I said, “I have read and pondered much on what this book contains.  It seems to me, that, if it teaches anything, it clearly teaches, that, no matter how we flatter ourselves that we are doing as we choose, and carrying out our own designs and wishes, we are all the time only fulfilling purposes that have been fixed from all eternity.  Since, then, we are the subjects of an Inexorable Will, which no entreaties or acts of ours can alter or propitiate, what is there for us to do but simply to bear as best we can what comes upon us?  It is a short creed.”

“And a gloomy one,” he said.

“You are right; a very gloomy one.  If you can rationally adopt a cheerfuller, pray, do it.  I do not wish for any companion in mine.”

There was silence for a time, and then I said, with affectionate earnestness, “Dear William, why trouble yourself with these things in your weak and exhausted state?  Surely, the care of your health is enough for you, now.  By-and-by, when you have in some measure regained your strength, look seriously into this subject, if you wish.  It is an important one for all.  I am afraid I gave you an overdose of anodyne last night, and am to blame for your low spirits of this morning.  Own, William,” I said, smilingly, “that you were terribly hypped, and fancied you never could recover.”

He looked relieved as I spoke thus lightly.  “I should find it sad to die,” he said.  “Life looks bright to me even yet.”

This man was a coward.  He dreaded that struggle, that humiliation of spirit, through which all must pass ere peace with Heaven is achieved.  Yet more, perhaps, he dreaded that deeper struggle which ensues when we essay to tear Self from its throne in the heart, and place God thereon.  As he said, life looked bright to him; and all his plans and purposes in life were for himself, his own advancement, his own well-being.  It would have been hard to make the change; and he thought it was not necessary now, at least.

No more was said upon the subject.  Our days went on as before.  There was a little music, some light reading, an occasional call from a friend,—­and long pauses of rest between all these.  And slowly, but surely, life failed, and the soul drew near its doom.

I knew now that he loved me still; he talked of it sometimes when he woke suddenly, and did not at once remember where he was; I saw it, too, in his look, his manner; but we never breathed it to each other, and he did not think I knew.

One night there was a great change; physicians were summoned in haste; there were hours of anxious watching.  Toward morning he seemed a little better, and I was left alone with him.  He slumbered quietly, but when he awoke there was a strange and solemn look in his face, such as I had never seen before.  I knew what it must mean.