Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 26, 1917 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 46 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 26, 1917.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 26, 1917 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 46 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 26, 1917.

***

Another statue has been stolen from Berlin, but Londoners need not be envious.  Quite a lot of Americans will be in this country shortly, and it is hoped that their well-known propensity for souvenir-collecting may yet be diverted into useful channels.

***

The Midland Dairy Farmers’ Association have expressed themselves as satisfied with the prices fixed for Winter milk.  In other agricultural quarters this action is regarded as a dangerous precedent, the view being that no farmer should be satisfied about anything.

***

“My hopes of fortune have been dispelled by unremunerative Government contracts,” said a contractor at the Liverpool Bankruptcy Court.  It is good to read for once of the Government getting the best of a bargain.

***

“What is a bun?” asked the Willesden magistrate last week; which only shows that with a little practice magistrates will get into the way of doing these things almost as well as the High Court judges.

***

The Frankfurter Zeitung declares that “the Germany that President Wilson wants to talk peace with will only be a Germany beaten to its knees.”  Our own opinion is that it will be a Germany beaten to a frazzle.

***

There appears to be a great demand for small second-hand yachts.  The fact is connected, in well-informed circles, with the report that The Daily Mail contemplates taking up the anti-submarine question.

***

Some solicitors have been helping to run the gas works of a certain Corporation during a strike.  While commending this action, we admit that we can conceive of nothing more likely to undermine the resolute patriotism of the man in the street than a gas bill furnished by solicitor.

***

Women are formally warned by the Ministry of Munitions against using T.N.T. as a means of acquiring auburn hair.  Any important object striking the head—­a chimney-pot or a bomb from an enemy aeroplane—­would be almost certain to cause an explosion, with possible injury to the scalp.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “I’m coming to you with ’ARF A Ton in A minute, so don’t Fret yourself, OLE periscope.”]

* * * * *

German thoroughness again.

    “To hold potato crop.

    “New German food dictator will consume all food.”—­Victoria Daily
    Times
.

* * * * *

    “An intelligent postal service has delivered those addressed to
    1,000, Upper Grosvenor Street, W. 1, to the Ministry of Good at
    Grosvenor House.”—­Daily Mail.

This is the first we have heard of this Ministry.

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Project Gutenberg
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, September 26, 1917 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.