On familiar intimacy.—­To this matter before all you must attend, that you be never so closely connected with any of your former intimates or friends as to come down to the same acts as he does.  If you do not observe this rule, you will ruin yourself.  But if the thought arises in your mind, “I shall seem disobliging to him and he will not have the same feeling towards me,” remember that nothing is done without cost, nor is it possible for a man if he does not do the same things to be the same man that he was.  Choose then which of the two you will have, to be equally loved by those by whom you were formerly loved, being the same with your former self; or, being superior, not to obtain from your friends the same that you did before.

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What things we should exchange for other things.—­Keep this thought in readiness, when you lose anything external, what you acquire in place of it; and if it be worth more, never say, I have had a loss; neither if you have got a horse in place of an ass, or an ox in place of a sheep, nor a good action in place of a bit of money, nor in place of idle talk such tranquillity as befits a man, nor in place of lewd talk if you have acquired modesty.  If you remember this, you will always maintain your character such as it ought to be.  But if you do not, consider that the times of opportunity are perishing, and that whatever pains you take about yourself, you are going to waste them all and overturn them.  And it needs only a few things for the loss and overturning of all—­namely, a small deviation from reason.  For the steerer of a ship to upset it, he has no need of the same means as he has need of for saving it; but if he turns it a little to the wind, it is lost; and if he does not do this purposely, but has been neglecting his duty a little, the ship is lost.  Something of the kind happens in this case also; if you only fall a nodding a little, all that you have up to this time collected is gone.  Attend therefore to the appearances of things, and watch over them; for that which you have to preserve is no small matter, but it is modesty and fidelity and constancy, freedom from the affects, a state of mind undisturbed, freedom from fear, tranquillity, in a word liberty.  For what will you sell these things?  See what is the value of the things which you will obtain in exchange for these.—­But shall I not obtain any such thing for it?—­See, and if you do in return get that, see what you receive in place of it.  I possess decency, he possesses a tribuneship:  he possesses a praetorship, I possess modesty.  But I do not make acclamations where it is not becoming:  I will not stand up where I ought not; for I am free, and a friend of God. and so I obey him willingly.  But I must not claim (seek) anything else, neither body nor possession, nor magistracy, nor good report, nor in fact anything.