The little girl then went to the nearest post-office and purchased two pounds’ worth of War Loan.  The ten shillings which remained she took home to her mother, and since the good woman did not understand the principles of profiteering she was well pleased.

But alas for the little girl! one of her customers, doubting the honesty of her intentions, had informed the policeman.  She was subsequently taken into custody, and the magistrate is now faced with the problem as to whether she is a good little girl in that she put money into War Loan, or a bad little girl in that she followed the example of the profiteers.

* * * * *

OUR HELPFUL PRESS.

From a recipe for jam:—­

    “Add the fruit and boil 40 minutes.  Glucose and sugar in equal
    parts can be used if sugar is unobtainable.”—­Daily Sketch.

* * * * *

“To lease or rent a fine family residence, healthy locality, one mile from Mandeville fully furnished with good accommodation for a large family standing on ten acres of good grazing land with many fruit trees has two large tanks, recently occupied by judge Reece.”—­Daily Gleaner (Jamaica).

Anything for coolness.

* * * * *

Extract from a speech by Mr. BROMLEY on the eight-hours’ day:—­

    “They had endeavoured after long weary waiting to bring to
    fruition in due time what had been the first plank in their
    programme for thirteen years.”—­Morning Paper.

But the plank, as might be expected, has, as fruit-growers say, “run to wood.”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Colonel (asked to review V.A.D.  Corps, and not wishing to spring an order on them).  “NOW, I’M GOING TO ASK YOU LADIES TO FORM FOURS.”]

* * * * *

THE PASSING OF THE COD’S HEAD.

(A Romance of Chiswick Mall.)

  It was because the dustman did not come;
    It was because our cat was overfed,
  And, gorged with some superior pabulum,
    Declined to touch the cod’s disgusting head;
  It was because the weather was too warm
    To hide the horror in the refuse-bin,
  And too intense the perfume of its form,
    My wife commanded me to do the sin,
  To take and cast it in the twinkling Thames—­
    A practice which the neighbourhood condemns.

  So on the midnight, with a strong cigar
    And scented handkerchief, I tiptoed near,
  But felt the exotic fragrance from afar;
    I thought of ARTHUR and Sir BEDIVERE: 
  And it seemed best to leave it on the plate,
    So strode I back and told my curious spouse
  “I heard the high tide lap along the Eyot,
    And the wild water at the barge’s bows.” 
  She said, “O treacherous!  O heart of clay! 
    Go back and throw the smelly thing away.”