I think I know what Cupid is: 
  Bacteria Amoris;
And when he’s fairly at his work,
  He causes dolor cordis. 
So, if you’d like, for this disease,
  A remedy specific,
Prepare an antitoxine, please,
  By methods scientific. 
Inoculate another heart
  With germs of this affection,
Apply this culture to your own,
  ’Twill heal you to perfection.

MARY E. LEVERETT.
Vassar Miscellany.

Logic.

Say, does Fact or Reason err,
And, if they both err, which the more? 
The man of smallest calibre
Is sure to be the greatest bore.

Harvard Lampoon.

A Flirtation on the Cars.

I did not even know her name,
Nor where she lived, nor whence she came—­
’Twas sad, and yet
Was I so very much to blame,
That all my heart should start to flame,
And flare and fret?

She was so sweet, so passing fair,
With such a smile, with such an air—­
What could I do? 
A glance as shy, as debonair,
An eye as bright, a smile as rare,
I never knew!

And so I smiled across the aisle,
And met the winsome, merry smile
She sent so bold;
At last she laughed, then after while
She cooed aloud in friendly style,
“I’m free years old!”

University of Chicago Weekly.

Has It Come to This?

A youth, with shining locks of gold,
  And eyes than summer skies more blue,
With plaintive voice and modest mien,
  Went forth to greet his sweetheart true.

And sang, in accents sweet and low,
  Beneath, her window (so says rumor),
“Than others art thou fairer far,
  Du bist wie eine bloomer.”

MARIE REIMER.
Vassar Miscellany.

And the Hammock Swung On.

“A is the maid of winning charm;
B is the snug, encircling arm;
How many times is A in B?”
He questioned calculatively. 
She flushed, and said, with air sedate,
“It’s not quite clear; please demonstrate.”

HAMILTON GREY.
Hamilton Literary Monthly.

The Critic.

“Are you a LAMPOON man?  Not really! 
  Oh, dear, though, I know you must be! 
That’s why you’ve been smiling so queerly—­
  My goodness, you’re studying me! 
Now, what have I said that is funny? 
  And oh, will you publish it soon?”
’Tis thus, with a voice sweet as honey,
  She mentions the HARVARD LAMPOON.

“Indeed, yes, I see it quite often,
  The pictures are simply inane;
The verses and jokes—­they would soften
  An average Vassar girl’s brain. 
Of course they are killingly comic;
  I laugh, but I feel like a loon!”
And thus, with a fierceness atomic,
  She censures the HARVARD LAMPOON.

“But then they are bright, I don’t doubt them,
  And very artistic, of course! 
Outsiders don’t know all about them,
  You have to explain the—­the—­’horse.’ 
Do send me that sweet book of ‘pickings,’
  I hear you will publish in June.” 
And thus she gives over her flickings,
  And praises the HARVARD LAMPOON.