Great ships and mighty captains—­to these their meed of praise
  For patience, skill and daring and loud victorious days;
  To every man his portion, as is both right and fair,
  But oh! forget not small craft, for they have done their share.

  Small craft—­small craft, from Scapa Flow to Dover,
  Small craft—­small craft, all the wide world over,
  At risk of war and shipwreck, torpedo, mine and shell,
  All honour be to small craft, for oh, they’ve earned it well!

  C.F.S.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  TRIALS OF A CAMOUFLAGE OFFICER.

WHEN AN INSPECTING GENERAL MISTAKES A DISGUISED TRENCH FOR SOLID GROUND.]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(By Mr. Punch’s Staff of Learned Clerks.)

The opening paragraph of Mr. JEFFERY FARNOL’S latest novel, The Definite Object (LOW, MARSTON), informs us that in the writing of books two things are essential:  to know “when and where to leave off ... and where to begin.”  Perhaps without churlishness I might add a third, and suggest that it is equally important to know where to make your market.  Mr. FARNOL, very wisely, plumps for America; and the new story is a thing of millionaires, crooks, graft and the like.  But don’t go supposing for one moment that these regrettable surroundings have in the smallest degree impaired the exquisite and waxen bloom of our author’s sympathetic characters.  Far from it.  Of the young and oh-so-good-looking millionaire (weary of pleasures and palaces, too weary even to dismiss his preposterous and farcical butler—­lacking, in effect, the definite object); of the heroine’s young brother, crook in embryo, but reclaimable by influence of hero; and of the peach-like leading lady herself, I can only say that each is worthy of the rest, and all of a creator who must surely (I like to think) have laughed more than once behind his hand during the progress of their creation.  I expect by now that I have as good as told you the plot—­young brother caught burgling hero’s flat; hero, intrigued by mention of sister, doffing his society trappings, following his captive to crook-land, bashing the wicked inhabitants with his heroic fists, and finally, of course, wedding the sister.  So there you are!  No, I am wrong.  The wedding is not absolute finality, since the heroine (for family pride, she said, because her brother had tried to shoot her husband; but, as this reason is manifestly idiotic, I must suppose her to be acting on a hint from Mr. FARNOL’S publishers) decreed their union to be in name alone.  Which provides for the extra chapters.

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