“Take an instance.  You know our regiments have runners, men who go to and fro carrying orders and making liaison along the line.  In the regiment I’m telling you about the runners were two smart chaps—­drummers they were before the War—­and not having too much work with their errands they ran a few side lines of their own, such as shaving and hair-cutting, cobbling and the like.  But of all their side lines souvenir-selling was the most profitable.  In their capacity of runners they could go where they liked and accompany any of the attacking parties, so they had good chances for souvenirs.

“One evening they went over into D Company’s trench and said, ’Say, you fellows, anybody want souvenirs?  Bert’s ordered an attack for daybreak.  A, B, and C Companies carry it out.  You’re not going.  I expect we shall be doing a nice line in tin hats.  Any orders?  Helmet for you?  Right, that’ll be twenty francs, cash on delivery.  Bosch rifle?  Yes, if we get any, fifty francs.  Bandoliers, same price.  What’s that?  Iron Cross?  Oh, not likely!  But we’ll do our best.  A hundred francs if we deliver the goods.’

“Well, the next day the attack was made, and at one end of a Bosch trench there was some pretty hand-to-hand work.  An old Rittmeister held it, his breast covered with decorations, and he just wouldn’t give in.  Of course, so long as he stuck it the other Bosches did too, and there was nothing doing in the Kamerad line.  They fought like fury.  So did our men, but we were slightly outnumbered, and it soon began to be evident that we should have to retire if we didn’t get reinforcements.  But, just when things were looking hopeless, over the top of the parapet leaped the two runners, unarmed but irresistible.  With blazing eyes they flung themselves on that old Rittmeister, and while one of them downed him with a blow under the chin we heard the voice of the other uplifted in a new slogan:  ’Give over, will you, old turnip-head!  You’ve got the goods, and, by Sam Hill, we mean to have ‘em!’ And with one hand he held the prisoner down while with the other he tore the Iron Cross from his tunic.

“After the Bosch officer’s fall our men made short work of the rest, but the runners didn’t wait for victory.  There was a muttered counting of the spoils:  ’Six helmets for D Company.  Two Bosch rifles.  One bandolier.  And the Iron Cross.  That’s the lot.  We’d better git.’  And they got.”

* * * * *

    “The two British Colossuses, The Tribune says, opened fire
    with their 300 five-millimetres guns.”—­The Post (Dundee.)

This is the first we have heard of the new naval pea-shooter.

* * * * *

    “The war aims to which Germany and Austria must give assent must
    be expressed in unequivocal language and based on the principles
    of jujsjtjicjejjjjji.”—­Evening Echo (Cork).