In childhood’s days I took delight
    In LEAR’S immortal Dong,
  Whose nose was luminously bright,
    Who sang a silvery song. 
  He did not terrify the birds
  With strange and unpropitious words
    Of double-edged ontong;
  I’m sure he hailed from Beeyah-byyah-bunniga-nelliga-jong.

  Prince Giglio’s bag, the fairy’s gift,
    Helped him to right the wrong,
  Encouraged diligence and thrift,
    And “opened with a pong;”
  But though its magic powers were great
  It could not quite ejaculate
    A word so proud and strong
  And beautiful as Beeyah-byyah-bunniga-nelliga-jong.

  I crave no marble pleasure-dome,
    No forks with golden prong;
  Like HORACE, in a frugal home
    I’d gladly rub along,
  Contented with the humblest cot
  Or shack or hut, if it had got
    A name like Billabong,
  Or, better still, like Beeyah-byyah-bunniga-nelliga-jong.

  Sweet is the music of the spheres,
    Majestic is Mong Blong,
  And bland the beverage that cheers,
    Called Sirupy Souchong;
  But sweeter, more inspiring far
  Than tea or peak or tuneful star
    I deem it to belong
  To such a place as Beeyah-byyah-bunniga-nelliga-jong.

* * * * *

OUR STYLISTS.

“It is the desire of the Management that nothing of an objectionable character shall appear on the stage or in the auditorium, and they ask the co-operation of the audience in suppressing same by apprising them of anything that may escape their notice.”

    From a provincial Hippodrome programme.

* * * * *

From the evidence in a juvenile larceny case:—­

    “The Father:  Devils seem to be getting into everyone nowadays,
    not only in boys, but in human beings.”

    Devon and Exeter Gazette.

A delicate distinction.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Win-the-War Vice-President of our Supply Depot (doing grand rounds). “HERE AGAIN IS A FIFTH GLARING EXAMPLE.  THE HEM OF THIS BAG IS AN EIGHTEENTH OF AN INCH TOO WIDE.  GET THEM ALL REMADE.  WE CANNOT HAVE THE LIVES OF OUR TROOPS ENDANGERED.”]

* * * * *

A MIXED LETTER-BAG.

    (Prompted by “Thrifty Colleen’s” letter in “The Times”
    of September 12.)

CRUELTY TO VEGETABLES.

SIR,—­May I be allowed to protest with all the vigour at my command against the revolting suggestion that, with the view of making cakes from potatoes they should be first boiled in their skins.  I admit that this is better than that they should be boiled without them, but that is all.  The potato is notoriously a sensitive plant.  Personally I regard it more in the light of an emblem than a vegetable.  That it is not necessary as an article of food can be conclusively proved from the teaching of history, for, as a famous poet happily puts it—­