“The skipper told me about it ten minutes arter they was made snug in the inner berth ’ere.  He walked up and down like a man with a raging toothache, and arter follering ’im up and down the wharf till I was tired out, I discovered that ’is father-in-law ’ad got ’imself mixed up with a widder-woman ninety years old and weighing twenty stun.  Arter he ’ad cooled down a bit, and I ’ad given ’im a few little pats on the shoulder, ’e made it forty-eight years old and fourteen stun.

“‘He’s getting ready to go and meet her now,’ he ses, ’and wot my missis’ll say to me, I don’t know.’

“His father-in-law came up on deck as ’e spoke, and began to brush ’imself all over with a clothesbrush.  Nice-looking little man ’e was, with blue eyes, and a little white beard, cut to a point, and dressed up in a serge suit with brass buttons, and a white yachting cap.  His real name was Mr. Finch, but the skipper called ’im Uncle Dick, and he took such a fancy to me that in five minutes I was calling ’im Uncle Dick too.

“‘Time I was moving,’ he ses, by and by.  ‘I’ve got an app’intment.’

“‘Oh! who with?’ ses the skipper, pretending not to know.

“‘Friend o’ mine, in the army,’ ses the old man, with a wink at me.  ’So long.’

“He went off as spry as a boy, and as soon as he’d gorn the skipper started walking back’ards and for’ards agin, and raving.

“’Let’s ’ope as he’s on’y amusing ‘imself,’ I ses.

“’Wait till you see ‘er,’ ses the skipper; ’then you won’t talk foolishness.’

“As it ’appened she came back with Uncle Dick that evening, to see ’im safe, and I see at once wot sort of a woman it was.  She ’adn’t been on the wharf five minutes afore you’d ha’ thought it belonged to ’er, and when she went and sat on the schooner it seemed to be about ’arf its size.  She called the skipper Tom, and sat there as cool as you please holding Uncle Dick’s ’and, and patting it.

“I took the skipper round to the ‘Bull’s Head’ arter she ’ad gorn, and I wouldn’t let ’im say a word until he had ’ad two pints.  He felt better then, and some o’ the words ’e used surprised me.

“‘Wot’s to be done?’ he ses at last.  ’You see ‘ow it is, Bill.’

“’Can’t you get ‘im away?’ I ses.  ’Who is she, and wot’s ‘er name?’

“‘Her name,’ ses the skipper, ’her name is Jane Maria Elizabeth Muffit, and she lives over at Rotherhithe.’

“‘She’s very likely married already,’ I ses.

“’Her ‘usband died ten years ago,’ ses the skipper; ’passed away in ’is sleep.  Overlaid, I should say.’

“He sat there smoking, and I sat there thinking.  Twice ’e spoke to me, and I held my ’and up and said ‘H’sh.’  Then I turned to ’im all of a sudden and pinched his arm so hard he nearly dropped ’is beer.

“‘Is Uncle Dick a nervous man?’ I ses.

“‘Nervous is no name for it,’ he ses, staring.

“‘Very good, then,’ I ses.  ’I’ll send ’er husband to frighten ‘im.’