ILF.  And there shall be no love lost, nor service neither; I’ll do thee service at board, and thou shalt do me service a-bed:  now must I, as young married men use to do, kiss my portion out of my young wife.  Thou art my sweet rogue, my lamb, my pigsny, my playfellow, my pretty-pretty anything.  Come, a buss, prythee, so ’tis my kind heart; and wots thou what now?

SIS.  Not till you tell me, sir.

ILF.  I have got thee with child in my conscience, and, like a kind husband, methinks I breed it for thee.  For I am already sick at my stomach, and long extremely.  Now must thou be my helpful physician, and provide for me.

SIS.  Even to my blood,
What’s mine is yours, to gain your peace or good.

ILF.  What a kind soul is this!  Could a man have found a greater content in a wife, if he should have sought through the world for her?  Prythee, heart, as I said, I long, and in good troth I do, and methinks thy first child will be born without a nose, if I lose my longing:  ’tis but for a trifle too; yet methinks it will do me no good, unless thou effect it for me.  I could take thy keys myself, go into thy closet, and read over the deeds and evidences of thy land, and in reading over them, rejoice I had such blessed fortune to have so fair a wife with so much endowment, and then open thy chests, and survey thy plate, jewels, treasure; but a pox on’t, all will do me no good, unless thou effect it for me.

SIS.  Sir, I will show you all the wealth I have
Of coin, of jewels, and possessions.

ILF.  Good gentle heart, I’ll give thee another buss for that:  for that, give thee a new gown to-morrow morning by this hand; do thou but dream what stuff and what fashion thou wilt have it on to-night.

SIS.  The land I can endow you with’s my Love: 
The riches I possess for you is Love,
A treasure greater than is land or gold,
It cannot be forfeit, and it shall ne’er be sold.

ILF.  Love, I know that; and I’ll answer thee love for love in abundance:  but come, prythee, come, let’s see these deeds and evidences—­this money, plate, and jewels.  Wilt have thy child born without a nose? if thou be’st so careless, spare not:  why, my little frappet, you, I heard thy uncles talk of thy riches, that thou hadst hundreds a year, several lordships, manors, houses, thousands of pounds in your great chest; jewels, plate, and rings in your little box.

SIS.  And for that riches you did marry me?

ILF.  Troth, I did, as nowadays bachelors do:  swear I lov’d thee, but indeed married thee for thy wealth.

SIS.  Sir, I beseech you say not your oaths were such,
So like false coin being put unto the touch;
Who bear a flourish in the outward show
Of a true stamp, but truly[416] are not so. 
You swore me love, I gave the like to you: 
Then as a ship, being wedded to the sea,
Does either sail or sink, even so must I,
You being the haven, to which my hopes must fly.