MRS MA.  O, this same swaggerer is
The bulwark of my reputation; but,
Mistress Splay, now to your lecture that you promised me.

MRS SPLAY.  Daughter, attend, for I will tell thee now
What, in my young days, I myself have tried;
Be rul’d by me, and I will make thee rich. 
You, God be prais’d, are fair, and, as they say,
Full of good parts; you have been often tried
To be a woman of good carriage,
Which, in my mind, is very commendable.

MRS MA.  It is indeed; forward, good Mother Splay.

MRS SPLAY.  And, as I told you, being fair, I wish,
Sweet daughter, you were as fortunate. 
When any suitor comes to ask thy love,
Look not into his words, but into his sleeve;
If thou canst learn what language his purse speaks,
Be ruled by that; that’s golden eloquence. 
Money can make a slavering tongue speak plain. 
If he that loves thee be deform’d and rich,
Accept his love:  gold hides deformity. 
Gold can make limping Vulcan walk upright;
Make squint eyes straight, a crabbed face look smooth,
Gilds copper noses, makes them look like gold;
Fills age’s wrinkles up, and makes a face,
As old as Nestor’s, look as young as Cupid’s. 
If thou wilt arm thyself against all shifts,
Regard all men according to their gifts. 
This if thou practise, thou, when I am dead. 
Wilt say:  Old Mother Splay, soft lie[14] thy head.

Enter YOUNG MASTER ARTHUR.

MRS MA.  Soft, who comes here? begone, good Mistress Splay;
Of thy rule’s practice this is my first day.

MRS SPLAY.  God, for thy passion, what a beast am I
To scare the bird, that to the net would fly!
          
                                  [Exit.

Y. ART.  By your leave, mistress.

MRS MA.  What to do, master?

Y. ART.  To give me leave to love you.

MRS MA.  I had rather afford you some love to leave me.

Y. ART.  I would you would as soon love me, as I could leave you.

MRS MA.  I pray you, what are you, sir?

Y. ART.  A man, I’ll assure you.

MRS MA.  How should I know that?

Y. ART.  Try me, by my word, for I say I am a man;
Or by my deed I’ll prove myself a man.

MRS MA.  Are you not Master Arthur?

Y. ART.  Not Master Arthur, but Arthur, and your servant, sweet Mistress Mary.

MRS MA.  Not Mistress Mary, but Mary, and your handmaid, sweet Master Arthur.

Y. ART.  That I love you, let my face tell you; that I love you more than ordinarily, let this kiss testify; and that I love you fervently and entirely, ask this gift, and see what it will answer you, myself, my purse, and all, being wholly at your service.

MRS MA.  That I take your love in good part, my thanks shall speak for me; that I am pleased with your kiss, this interest of another shall certify you; and that I accept your gift, my prostrate service and myself shall witness with me.  My love, my lips, and sweet self, are at your service:  wilt please you to come near, sir?