have rejected the idea with indignation.  But my disappointed and lonely condition rendered me an easy prey to temptation, and I was where public opinion sanctioned such connections.  Besides, there were kindly motives mixed up with selfish ones.  I pitied the unfortunate father, and I feared his handsome daughter might fall into hands that would not protect her so carefully as I resolved to do.  I knew the freedom of her choice was not interfered with, for she confessed she loved me.

“Senor Gonsalez, who was more attached to her than to anything else in the world, soon afterward gathered up the fragments of his broken fortune, and came to reside near us.  I know it was a great satisfaction to his dying hours that he left Eulalia in my care, and the dear girl was entirely happy with me.  If I had manumitted her, carried her abroad, and legally married her, I should have no remorse mingled with my sorrow for her loss.  Loving her faithfully, as I did to the latest moment of her life, I now find it difficult to explain to myself how I came to neglect such an obvious duty.  I was always thinking that I would do it at some future time.  But marriage with a quadroon would have been void, according to the laws of Louisiana; and, being immersed in business, I never seemed to find time to take her abroad.  When one has taken the first wrong step, it becomes dangerously easy to go on in the same path.  A man’s standing here is not injured by such irregular connections; and my faithful, loving Eulalia meekly accepted her situation as a portion of her inherited destiny.  Mine was the fault, not hers; for I was free to do as I pleased, and she never had been.  I acted in opposition to moral principles, which the education of false circumstances had given her no opportunity to form.  I had remorseful thoughts at times, but I am quite sure she was never troubled in that way.  She loved and trusted me entirely.  She knew that the marriage of a white man with one of her race was illegal; and she quietly accepted the fact, as human beings do accept what they are powerless to overcome.  Her daughters attributed her olive complexion to a Spanish origin; and their only idea was, and is, that she was my honored wife, as indeed she was in the inmost recesses of my heart.  I gradually withdrew from the few acquaintances I had formed in New Orleans; partly because I was satisfied with the company of Eulalia and our children, and partly because I could not take her with me into society.  She had no acquaintances here, and we acquired the habit of living in a little world by ourselves,—­a world which, as you have seen, was transformed into a sort of fairy-land by her love of beautiful things.  After I lost her, it was my intention to send the children immediately to France to be educated.  But procrastination is my besetting sin; and the idea of parting with them was so painful, that I have deferred and deferred it.  The suffering I experience on their account is a just punishment for the wrong I did their mother.  When I think how beautiful, how talented, how affectionate, and how pure they are, and in what a cruel position I have placed them, I have terrible writhings of the heart.  I do not think I am destined to long life; and who will protect them when I am gone?”