_&c. ad infinitum._

As for me, dear NELLO, I am in the front rank of civilization.  I have accepted the Chair of Cane-bottom in a Grub-Street garret, and rejoice in a barrel-organ, which plays with great freedom of speech.

Yours pedagoguically,

JEREMY DOGWOOD.

* * * * *

A. Sop for Ireland.

It is stated that Queen VICTORIA has ordered from a Dublin manufacturer an extensive assortment of Balbriggan hosiery for the wedding outfit of the Princess LOUISE.  There is a stroke of policy in this.  In firemen’s phrase it may be called laying on the “hose” to quench disloyalty.

* * * * *

THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT.  The Marine Hospital.

* * * * *

TRIALS OF A WITNESS.

MR. PUNCHINELLO:—­As all people seem to come to you with their troubles and grievances, I hope you will not refuse to listen to my woes.  And whether they are woes or not, I leave you to judge for yourself.

At the beginning of last week I made my first appearance in any court-room, in the character of a witness, in the case of VALENTINE vs.  ORSON; in which the point in dispute was the ownership of a tract of land in Wyoming Territory.  I knew something in regard to the sale of these lands, and was fully prepared to testify to the extent of my knowledge in the premises; but judge of my utter surprise and horror on being obliged to go through such an ordeal as the following extracts from my examination will indicate.

The counsel for the plaintiff commenced by asking me if I was a married man, and when I had answered that.  I was, he said:—­

“Is your wife a believer in the principles of the Woman’s Rights party?”

I could not, for the life of me, see what this had to do with the land in Wyoming, but I answered, that I was happy to say she was not.

The examination then proceeded as follows:—­

Q. You are happy, then, in your matrimonial relations? A. Yes—­(and remembering the oath) reasonably so.

Q. Is your wife pretty? A. (Witness remembering at once his oath and his wife’s presence in court) She is pretty pretty.

Q. What are her defects? A. (Witness remembering only his wife’s presence.) I have never been able to discover them.

Q. Do you wear flannel? A. Yes, in winter.

Q. Can you testify, upon your oath, that you do not wear flannel in summer? A. I can.

Q. Now be careful in your answer.  What do you wear in the spring and fall? A. I—­I wear my common clothes.

Q. With flannel, or without flannel? A. Sometimes with, and sometimes without.

Q. No evasion; you must tell the Court exactly when you wear flannel, and when you do not.

A series of questions on this subject brought out the fact that I wore flannel when the weather was cold, or cool; and did not wear it when it was mild, or warm.