The loneliness of intense individuality is the loneliest
loneliness in the world,—a loneliness which
crowds only aggravate, and which even the closest and
happiest companionship can only in part cure.
The creative faculty is the most inalienable and uncontrollable
of individualities. It is at once its own reward
and its own penalty: until it has conquered the
freedom of its own city, in which it must for ever
dwell, more or less apart, it is only a prisoner in
the cities of others. All this Mr. Allen felt
for Mercy, recognized in Mercy. He felt and recognized
it by the instinct of love, rather than by any intellectual
perception. Intellectually, he was, in spite
of his superior culture, far Mercy’s inferior.
He had been brave enough and manly enough to recognize
this, and also to recognize what it took still more
manliness to recognize,—that she could never
love a man of his temperament. It would have
been very easy for him to love Mercy. He was
not a man of a passionate nature; but he felt himself
strangely stirred whenever he looked into her sensitive,
orchid-like face. He felt in every fibre of him
that to have the whole love of such a woman would be
bewildering joy; yet never for one moment did he allow
himself to think of seeking it. “I might
make her think she loved me, perhaps,” he said
to himself. “She is so lonely and sad,
and has seen so few men; but it would be base.
She needs a nature totally different from mine, a life
unlike the life I shall lead. I will never try
to make her love me. And he never did. He
taught her and trained her, and developed her, patiently,
exactingly, and yet tenderly as if she had been his
sister; but he never betrayed to her, even by a look
or tone, that he could have loved her as his wife.
No doubt his influence was greater over her for this
subtle, unacknowledged bond. It gave to their
intercourse a certain strange mixture of reticence
and familiarity, which grew more and more perilous
and significant month by month. Probably a change
must have come, had they lived thus closely together
a year or two longer. The change could have been
in but one direction. They loved each other too
much to ever love less: they might have loved
more; and Mercy’s life had been more peaceful,
her heart had known a truer content, if she had never
felt any stronger emotion than that which Harley Allen’s
love would have roused in her bosom. But his
resolution was inexorable. His instinct was too
keen, his will too strong: he compelled all his
home-seeking, wife-loving thoughts to turn away from
Mercy; and, six months after her departure, he had
loyally and lovingly promised to be the husband of
another. In Mercy’s future he felt an intense
interest; he would never cease to watch over her, if
she would let him; he would guide, mould, and direct
her, until the time came—he knew it would
come—when she had outgrown his help, and
ascended to a plane where he could no longer guide
her. His greatest fear was lest, from her overflowing